Benjamin Schmidt

Toronto-based software developer, but I'm mainly on twitter to look at pictures of fish and herps.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Ontario should sell off the 401 Express lanes to some random international consortium and let them set arbitrary tolls. This would raise the necessary funds to pay for the spa parking lot, and create enough additional congestion to justify building Hwy 413.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Ontario should sell off the 401 Express lanes to some random international consortium and let them set arbitrary tolls. This would raise the necessary funds to pay for the spa parking lot, and create enough additional congestion to justify building Hwy 413.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Great, I can walk to the strawberry patch during the two weeks of June that they're ripe. Anything else? Hop in the car and become traffic!

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

What's the GTA's obsession with unwalkable density? Like, the whole point of sharing wall(s), not having a yard etc. is that you gain the convenience of city life. Food, entertainment, parks, amenities, transit all at your doorstep. Who asked for townhouses in a cornfield?

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

The iPhone generation don't even know how to twiddle their thumbs. It's quickly becoming a lost art.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

@AlexanderRKlotz I've never been to one of your lectures, but I'm assuming this is what they're like

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Lecturers: “I’ve got some great comedic references in store for you this semester, I assume you’re all familiar with The Simpsons between 1992 and 1998?”

The students:

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Climate adaptation is when the landscaping bros respond to the lack of snow in February by pulling out the leafblowers.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

I find Raffi's Christmas Album to be theologically confusing at best.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

TIL that we still have to renew our licence plates???

[Colin D'Mello | Global News @ColinDMello]

Two years after the Ford government scrapped the licence plate registration fee and police in Ontario say they are dealing with an “overwhelming” number of unregistered licence plates as drivers forget to regularly renew.

https://t.co/g8ziw1SFhz

#Onpoli

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

@FrameToFrameBJ @Algonquin_PP @GreenpeaceCA @envirodefence @DavidSuzukiFDN Climate change is real, but here in Toronto it's always been like 50-50 whether we'll have a white Christmas, and I feel a bit crazy seeing people freaking out about a lack of snow as though it's a sudden apocalyptic change this year. https://t.co/9G8Rs17Cjk

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Not a lot of people know this, but "disco" is actually short for "discombobulated", which is how you feel after a long night of dancing.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Kurt Cobain: I'm so tired, I can't sleeeeEEEEEEp

Toddlers everywhere: Wow, this guy really gets me!

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Here's a frugal tip: instead of buying a salad spinner (yet another single-use kitchen gadget), just huck your greens in you washing machine on the spin cycle. You're welcome!

[Polling Canada @CanadianPolling]

"Do you think the increasing costs of rents and lack of affordable rental homes in Canada is..."

A Serious Problem: 95%
Not A Problem: 4%

Leger / August 20, 2023 / n=1537 / Online

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

When you write little rap verses to help you remember stuff, those are Eminemonics.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Bought tissues at Canadian Tire... naturally, they stink of Canadian Tire. Should have anticipated that.

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

@MegStEsprit @amkuhl Brain, brain go away!
Think again another day.
Everything will be okay!

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

< generic_new_yorker_cartoon.jpg >
"Let me just step inside for some fresh air"

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

Alternate universe David Letterman: Please welcome The Tool, playing their new single, Pot!

[Benjamin Schmidt @benschmidt741]

There is an alternate universe where the band Tool are called "The Tool"