Berneyt4

mum of 4 girls, owner of too many pets, manager of best CJS team in Midlands.

[nazir afzal @nazirafzal]

The Tax Avoiding Rich Leaders of Reform have convinced the poorest people in Britain that it’s other poor people -the young, the sick, the disabled, those on welfare & migrants -who are responsible for why they’re not as Rich as the Tax Avoiding Leaders of Reform
#LocalElection

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@autcareandshare I totally agree. My daughter has extreme anxiety alongside ASD and other conditions. She barely leaves the house but can be tempted occasionally by a theme park, partly because the ride access pass which reduces some of the stress. Surely this could be seen as discrimination?

[Stan Collymore @StanCollymore]

Suicide.

I'm choosing to be deliberately blunt and provocative in this post because it's necessary. Government, charities, football clubs are all pushing water up a hill in highlighting what is undoubtedly a major health crisis.

You take a rope.
You put it up in a garage or a tree nearby or far away.
You're thinking about every loved one you'll leave behind as you put that rope around your neck.
Then you drop.

Some are decapitated.
Some aren't.
All are found by someone who has a lifetime of trauma that will never leave them.
A son.
A daughter.
A brother.
A sister.
A mother.
A father.

I know 2 men who hung themselves.

One was found by his Mom.
One was found by his brother.
Neither have recovered fully. 20 and 30 years on.

A life sentence for people who were already worrying, terrified their loved one may do something.

So just visualise the above and ask, "is there another way"?

A segway for a moment.

I do a few Q&A's every year. Tales of yesterday with a 99% male audience of my age group.

After the stories and fun, my last question back to the audience is..

"Hands up if you struggle with a mental health issue".

Nobody ever puts a hand up. Despite 1 in every 3 of 500 attendees statistically struggling.

"Ah, nobody, that's fucking brilliant! Well I do! ". I then graphically tell people, stunned into silence about how a rope around my neck in the middle of nowhere jolted me to go home and cry like a baby to my Mom.

After the Q&A has finished, something always happens. I'll be chatting to a few guys, saying bye and one by one, men will come over and whisper " I struggle".

Or my mailbox the next day will have 30 emails from guys, their partners or kids saying " Dad/Uncle /Brother was there last night and what you said hit them hard".

And that's how some people realise that it's time to speak to a pal or family member or even rant to me in an email. It works, I often get a follow up email a year or 6 later saying that they took responsibility for their suicidal feelings and are now flying.

Humans are programmed to want to live, to have families and to keep the species growing and thriving. So for a human to want to short circuit that desire isn't normal, and it should never be spoken of as normal. It's the ultimate red flag.

If you suspect your mate, Dad, Brother, Uncle is struggling mentally, they deserve your intervention.

They deserve a " are you OK, please tell me what's up".

They deserve an opportunity to get past wanting to hang a rope over a tree or in a garage and slowly struggle until they die and you find them.

If you've been there and trust me I have plenty, then you'll know that text out of the blue, or a footie mate or one of your kids asking jow you are can open the curtains to some sunshine.

Because when suicide is your only answer, the room is already dark, and you can't see a way out.

So please, fucking pretty please, ask that husband, Dad, Uncle, Cousin, footie pal TODAY how they are.

You may be shocked what comes back but extremely glad that you asked.

For those who struggle, you're not alone.

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@JonDeighton @dave_mcpartlin Insulting and somewhat ignorant view point.

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@bhx_official @Ryanair BHX tells me 'Ryanair has specific regulations in place, which limit the number of Assisted Travel passengers that can be accommodated on their aircraft.' However, she is already booked on the plane. Just noone is prepared to help her get on.

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@Ryanair @bhx_official taking my 94 year old wheelchair bound mother to Ireland on Wednesday, but you can't get her a lift to the plane. Website says you can book special assistance up to 48 hours before, but Ryanair have said no. Disgusting

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@bhx_official @Ryanair Been trying to get someone on live chat for last hour. 🥲

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@Theboyonabike Literally living the dream

[NHS Million @NHSMillion]

Immigration is not the reason that you can’t get a hospital appointment, it’s the reason you can get one.

Please repost for all the people who can’t seem to grasp that.

[Dave McPartlin @dave_mcpartlin]

We released this a month ago to show our support for the England team (& a month too early looking back.) Can’t tell you how grateful I would be if people could retweet this - our uplifting, daft patriotic video to raise money for a worthwhile cause and make people smile. 🤞🏻🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

1am. M6 South from Knutsford Services to Jcn 16, variable speed limit at 50mph. WHY??? #unsmartmotorways

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

One of my cats has become a dumpster diver/ skipper. She regularly brings back bones, pieces of cooked chicken and more recently a hotdog roll and a chocolate waffle. The dog is now her best friend. #catsthatlovedogs #strangepets

[𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕸𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖔𝖋 𝕰𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝕮𝖑𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉 @Jacxdad3376]

05:27 am .. Sunday, I’m reminded of this please read

“Special needs parenting changes us entirely. There is no denying that. Because the truth is -- the first few years are going to pull you so far away from who you used to be that you won't even recognize yourself anymore.

You'll find yourself looking in a mirror, bags under your eyes, either heavier, or skinnier, and not recognize yourself. It looks and feels like you've aged a hundred years. Or maybe you are standing in a crowded room, feeling entirely isolated and alone, and wonder if you are invisible. You'll wonder how your world can be so different. How you can relate anymore.

It will challenge everything you know. You will question yourself. Your purpose. Your strength. You will wonder why. And how. Why my child? And not theirs.

It will challenge your marriage. Your health. The way you parent your other children. Even your decision to have more babies. Your career and finances. Relationships. And not just with people. With God too.

You will experience the greatest love on this earth. And simultaneously wonder how it can be so hard all the time. You'll get shamed for being sad. And for missing the almosts and the 'should be's.'

You'll see the unbelievable beauty that this world holds too. Almost like you've been granted access to a special club. One full of forever hugs, This Little Piggy, Santa and smiles. You'll celebrate milestones long after you should. And it will be amazing no matter when it happens.

You also see unbelievable cruelty. And it will take your breath away the first time it happens to you. To your child. You think you'll be prepared. That you'll come back with some witty, snappy comment. Only, you probably won't. You will try and shield them from evil. And then spend the next few sleepless nights wondering how you can live forever and change the world at the same time.

At first you'll feel like it's a race against time. Against their diagnosis. You'll do everything you possibly can. Your hope will be challenged. Then you'll find acceptance and realistic hope. Then you'll want time to stop. You'll want to keep their bodies small. Because the world is kinder to children.

You’ll have days where you swear you can’t do it anymore. Where you are certain it will never get any easier. That it’s going to be this challenging forever. You’ll almost be unable to picture a world where you stand still. Where you don’t have to fight for basic rights, inclusion and easy.

And then you will have the most unbelievable moments. A moment that makes everything worthwhile. Your child will shatter a goal, a milestone, something they have worked on for years. And you will know it’s going to be okay. Because you believe in this tiny human and know that they are worthy and capable and amazing.

You will live and breathe hope and acceptance and kindness. And you will be sewn together with strength and determination.

Yes, special needs parenting changes everything. It turns you inside out and upside down. But here is the secret that you have to learn on your own. It also puts you back together as the person you were meant to be.

That's the part that makes us lucky.”

Written by Kate Swenson of Finding Cooper's Voice.

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@autcareandshare My child speaks too much. But I love every word that comes out of her mouth (maybe not all of them 😉 )

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@Theboyonabike It was Friday the 13th...

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@charliefent0nn @Mrawlins1974 @autcareandshare @SWNS @DailyMirror And well done @autcareandshare for doing the research and sharing it.

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@autisticdreamer Happy Birthday x

[Berneyt4 @berneyt4]

@sallyephillips My child has visual and audio hallucinations due to extreme anxiety. CAMHS said she had hallucinations because she was autistic and therefore not in their remit😩 signed and shared

[Sally Phillips @sallyephillips]

CAMHS routinely deny treatment to children with mental health issues because they are autistic. Suicidal, self harming autistic children are being left to suffer. It is dangerous. It is senseless. It is discrimination. Please sign

https://t.co/svaSvVWz9o