bernice the suburb lover

science debunker | dating coach | truther | jokester | job seeker

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

cant believe i used to have fun. Look at me now

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

putting myself on a spending freeze by not opening my new cc even after my existing one expired

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

i have rediscovered the mango

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

in an uber rn bro is driving around the city with his high beams on

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

my roomba every time i try to get to it vacuum my apartment

[shanifest it @lieslvondutch]

Started cleaning my room 20 minutes ago and I’ve already taken 3 breaks

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

got a roomba instead of rave tickets we r so up

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

at the age where i can no longer discuss hair with men. last time i talked to a bald guy his friend said “so.. he’s bald bc he has cancer..SIKE🤪🤪🤪he’s just getting old” and the time before that the guy said “i had alopecia i dont wanna talk abt it” LIKE alright nvm

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

me saying what da hell thats so early when someone tells me they wake up at 5 for work as if i dont also wake up at 5 for work . suddenly im an actor for sake of small talk

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

the tjs dried mangos have NOT been hitting lately i need it to be mango season stat

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

me when men im tryna be chill with start texting me too much

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

didi (2024)

[lorde @schrodingersded]

they hate it when you serve internet brainrot along with critical thinking while also serving fits

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

by popular demand (1 request) i have returned

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

when im telling a story and take too long to get to the point

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

in my suburb lover era i got no more city girl left in me

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

my friends were talking abt perks and for 5 minutes of the convo i thought they were talking abt percocet and that’s when i knew its over for me

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

i cant tell if the mailman is fr in love with me or he greets every person on this block with an enthusiastic “good morning you’re so beautiful” and stars in his eyes

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

got a call from the township about man who escaped the local psych ward and my mom said that customer that came earlier .. he’s a doctor there at the psych ward and i was like well… his patient just escaped so

[Niccoya @niccoyat]

I hate when people introduce me and say, “she’s funny asf” because now I gotta start cracking jokes all day when inside I’m deeply depressed. Like ain’t nothing funny rn, I got big problems.

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

laying down in exhaustion after a full day of doing nothing

[bernice the suburb lover @bernice010101]

every morning i wake up feeling i’ve been run over by a bus like y r my bones aching at 22