Berry Jaker, MSF

finance-inspired ridiculousness

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

I’m lowkey a LinkedIn bop

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

My trans homie got a Princess Albert

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

“x is under-appreciated” is a more common statement than “x is over-appreciated”

The world just needs more appreciation

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

“Spreads tightening is a recession indicator” wtf my asshole gotta do with a recession??????

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

There are 3 types of golf balls:
1. Fuck yeah
2. I’d let the bad homie have one
3. Range ball

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

4-day weekend and I forgot how to fucking type

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

It’s the bust in yo wife challenge!! If you make a kid you lose!! #bussinyowifechallenge

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

When I have buffalo wings I always wipe my hands on my dog and he screams loud as fuckkkkk

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

These FDIC Bank Examiners are making my toilet smell so crazy

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

It would be so fuckin beast if Jerome Powell raised rates in a couple weeks as a mic drop fuck you to Trump

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

It’s easier to make a friend out of a stranger than to make a customer out of a stranger.

It’s also easier to make a customer out of a friend than to make a customer out of a stranger.

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

Pulling out the black card by Amex in a thrift store

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

(E)x the everything (cl)app(ed)

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

Post, Texas is the butthole of the Earth

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

Lowkey the green “Open to Work” banner on LinkedIn is kinda like a “look at me I’m a fat chud” marker

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

I framemogged Clavicular and here’s what it taught me about B2B sales:

Gymmaxxing and musclemaxxing ACTUALLY correlationmaxxes with shareholdervaluemaxxing.

Jestergooning to foids SPIKES CORTISOL LEVELS, which actually connectionmins. Practice CEOlarping for W foidlationship!

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

If you use a poker chip as a ball marker you’re a chomo terrorist

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

When black people mess up speaking do they call it a Floydian slip

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

“Sir, are you aware you were going 80mph in a 35mph zone?”

Sorry officer, I thought it was a 45

[Berry Jaker, MSF @BerryJaker]

So fucked up I’m puttin the balls in first