That Roamin' Eye

Ah, what a fine day for Science! Sail away with me?

[That Roamin' Eye @betchoff]

@hell_doe Can't relate I'm SO impatient

[the human sadiepede 2 @hell_doe]

let's give it up for the trusty mandolin. a kitchen implement that immediately separates the wheat from the chaff

[I Smoked The White House Ball Room @BlackKnight10k]

If America even has midterm elections in 2026, Democrats need to stop campaigning for smart people. You've won them already.

Speak to the stupid people. In the dumbest possible terms. Dummies decide elections and a huge chunk of the country is dumb.

[Kai @Tasnyx]

A lot of male loneliness guys haven’t even tried gay shit so I don’t buy their dedication to the grind

[Terrance Avery @terrancesavery]

A "things your dad didn't teach you" YouTube series but instead of shaving and a half-Windsor tie knot it's empathy and talking to your kids about consent.

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

The Supreme Court just made the funniest possible outcome legal

[Laura Peek @laurapeek_]

If I hear one more person talk about disaffected young white men. Get affected bitch. Go for a walk, call ur mom. You’re sad and now I can’t get an abortion? grow up

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

anyone feel like doing something special, something huge. something that’s sure to impress a young jodie foster

[That Roamin' Eye @betchoff]

@hell_doe Bold of you to suggest the woke left hasn't been about dips and goops and spreads the whole time

[November @postoctobrist]

there’s not going to be any unburdened by what has been you stupid slut

[yung hegelian @lilacisms]

btw the cure to male loneliness is being in a union

[Sky Marchini @rhcm123]

Polling firms all herding to the same tied results so as not to make anyone mad: “if we are all just bit wrong none of us will be really wrong”

Ann Selzer: “smells like BITCH in here”

[JP @jpbrammer]

God, I love a gray, chilly sea. is it possible to be a sea person and not a beach person

[trash jones @jzux]

i actually led my horse to water and he drank right away. but sorry to hear that

[That Roamin' Eye @betchoff]

@hell_doe I really had you as a turnip gal. I guess you learn something new every day.

[tabitha arnold @thetolerantweft]

going on ozempic, not to lose weight, but because the inevitable class action lawsuit is gonna pay out like crazy

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

by age 30 you should have:

- acid reflux
- a friend you only call by their last name for reasons no one can articulate
- a fingernail that grows a bit strange due to The Injury
- 12 boxes of unsorted miscellaneous junk at your mom's house that you refuse to take or throw away

[Tory Cross 🌸 @queer_spice]

Dipshit is the absolute top of Midwestern white dads anger meter. This is so far above hey pal that this is outside of our atmosphere.

[🌿 @_kxdyn]

i know this only matters to like 7 people on the planet, but i’m one of them i guess. bear number 399 was struck by a large truck while crossing the road, and died last night

she was was 28 & had at least 18 cubs, 8 of whom survived to adulthood. wish it didn’t end like this

[That Roamin' Eye @betchoff]

@hell_doe (Quietly weeping) somebody *is* gonna match my freak