Elizabeth Kirk

My tweets are for me not you

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Binx decided to be was going to help me with my uni work.... #ThisMorning

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Can’t unsee it @LoveIsland

[QE Infinity @StealthQE4]

The youngins are too poor to drink

Too poor to buy a house or hell even rent.

Now they can’t find jobs out of college.

I’d be pissed off if I was under 30

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Wish I had 8 grand lying about so I could half the size of the tatas 🥲

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Me sitting planning my graduation outfit for 3 months time just pretending I don’t have a 10,000 word project to write up in 10 days as well as a poster and a 2,000 word assignment I need to write for the same week 🙂

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

3 hours to write 1000 words and include at least 15 references…. Yeah should be fine 😬😶

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

This is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever experienced

[latke @latkedelrey]

fucked up that when they put contrast in your veins for an MRI they’re like “it’s gonna make you feel like you peed your pants. rest assured, you are not peeing your pants.” and you’re kinda like “that sounds ridiculous” but then it really does feel like you peed your pants.

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Got Callum to do some housework today as I’m writing an assignment for uni.

The amount of times he has sand the song from South Park has me losing the plot

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

The Boxing Day hangover hitting different this year

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Being a mam is making your child homemade pizza rolls, chicken curry, avocado and cheese toast, tomato and Broccoli pasta, and then you yourself living off left over pasta and cereal

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Nah I want 3

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

1.5 pillows is the right number

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

When is it ok to put my Christmas tree up?

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Desperately want to deep clean my entire house but that involved first tidying my entire house and that I don’t feel like doing

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

If you saw me last night, no you didn’t….

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Just overheard a conversation at uni and a girl said “I’m really fat with my Nando’s order, I get TWO sides not just one….”

She gets rice and sweetcorn….

BITCH I get mash potato and fries, it’s double carbs, I’m not bothered it tastes good, go away with your corn

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

I sometimes think about how my best friend has seen me go from drinking vodka out of some guys leg to being a mam

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

My biggest irrational fear is Michael Jackson impersonators or people that look like him

[non aesthetic things @PicturesFoIder]

In 2005, a medical technician invented Rapex to help prevent rape in South Africa. It resembles a female condom with sharp teeth. Any man who attempts to rape a woman impales himself on the teeth and must go to hospital to have the device removed

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Or maybe I’m just very disorganised and like to have a pre warning before my uterus tries to kill me off

[MA LE BO @Melo_Malebo]

If your woman uses any app to track her periods, just know another man is having it raw.

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

I take mine off in the car 😂 I’m not waiting till I get home

[abeeha @tabigiris]

YALL ALSO SLEEP WITH UR BRAS ON RIGHT????

[Elizabeth Kirk @bethkirk23]

Do I shower and go to bed late so I don’t have to get up early or pretend I’m going to go to sleep now, play on my phone for 3 hours then get up early for a shower???

Life’s big questions