all bets are off

cheap jokes & expensive linens | she/her

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

Person who has only ever listened to Taylor swift: “I’m getting very Taylor swift vibes from this, no?”

[Brando 🐞 (Live From Fenway Park) @homesickbrando]

If I was still in college I would write essays on the Taylor Swiftication of Noah Kahan

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

Did you know that when a male surgeon dies they just have his wife with no medical training take over and do all the surgeries? And if she's isn't available or doesn't exist, the job goes to his sister.

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

You can learn so much from someone’s shopping cart!

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

TO ME there is no better place to pick up a woman than the grocery store

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

I’m mad at everyone who gets to hear Godlight live bc it should’ve happened to ME

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Godlight tonight queen?

[Paris Hilton @ParisHilton]

Kindness is hot 💓🥰💫

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

I thought this was K*ty P*rry

[eitakylie @eitakyliie]

Kylie Jenner looking PINK for the new King Kylie X Dunkin collab 💕

Including 3 flavors: Candy Pink Lemonade Refresher, the Vanilla Pink Cloud Latte, and the Pink Lemon Drop Suncloud Lemonade

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

@nmgriff4 I saw it this morning!!!!

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

My job (that I really like) is getting in the way of my hobbies (which I really love)

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

@sanholobeats 2019!

[Clever ☆ QUEER EMILYYYYY @clevercorvidae_]

i understand the point of this post but i also think many of you absolutely do not understand that impending sense of doom is an incredibly different feeling than anxiety

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

Both sides of the pillow are cold when you sleep on an ice pack

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

I did the math. The best time to leave work and go home is 3:25 PM

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

Quick! Does anyone want to give me $300 for new bed sheets it’s important

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

@gracecamille_ It’s about an architect 🫡

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

@Complex Yea, criminal mischief is exactly what this is

[trü frü @tru_fru]

me when he gets me trü frü once

[all bets are off @betsycantread]

Everyone is just ignoring all the weird noises you make when your headphones are on noise cancelling but you’re making like so many weird noises you just can’t hear them but they’re so gross and pissing everyone off

[trü frü @tru_fru]

happy monday who want trü frü