Suburban Dog Mom

Black femme, mostly unbothered, corporate it girl

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Healing is not linear - it’s been nine years, and I just cried in airport security because I saw a cute grandpa, and realized my dad will never get to be a cute grandpa explaining planes to my kids. It’s ok to feel. Sending you love wherever you are on your path to healing.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

My dominant personality traits are CRE and Lagree now. I only know sweat, cry do deals, and be baddie .

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@Fat_haitian This is the easiest decision I’ve ever made. I’m sweating thinking about my Costco cart now. 🤤

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Sorry Charlie. He knows where I live. Can’t go out like that. City girls up!

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Tell me why my Lyft driver was scrolling on Tik Tok and hit a curb almost sending me to meet my creator at the unholy hour of 4 AM. Don’t ask why I was out at 4 AM; this is my platform.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Is anyone else fully aware that Coke Zero tastes better but still get Diet Coke because of the hold it has on your soul.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but not having the @tiktok_us app is not a personality trait.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Y’all that use linkedin like it’s Facebook give me hypertension

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Stop asking where I got my Gucci bag when you know I ain’t got Gucci money. If you wanna go to Old National with me just say that then…shitttt.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Would call Tyrone before I called @AAAnews

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Women if you were thinking of getting @AAA_Travel to be safe on the road I’ll just let you know that based on current ETA we will have been waiting 4 hours on a main road in ATLANTA for service. Been here for 2 + hours now.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

I ain’t never gonna trust no human that says the sentence “I don’t like water.”

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@delta I collectively have spent close to 18 hours on hold this week. my father would roll in his grave at this service experience. Idk who at Virginia Ave needs this message, but you are running far too lean.Your world class employees are doing everything they can.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

This ended poorly 😂

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

Dude I just saw the teaser for Cyberpunk 2077....

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@uber can go to hell for the $3 they “credited” me on a ride with an unprofessional, UNMASKED, unsafe driver. I didn’t pay $43 to breathe her crusty mouth germs. @lyft would NEVER.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@AmazonHelp I want to speak to Jeff directly. Can he put the bikini on his jet?

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@amazon can kiss my whole Ass for shipping prime packages through USPS when they haven’t been reliably delivering packages in a whole year.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@AmazonHelp USPS refuses to negotiate with me even when I used my inside voice. It’s a lost cause.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@AmazonHelp I haven’t eaten carbs in 8 days ... please.

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@AmazonHelp Yes Greg. Could y’all maybe do a finding Nemo thing, and get it to Dallas by Sunday?

[Suburban Dog Mom @bfearz]

@AmazonHelp I’m not gonna be in a thong bikini on a rooftop tomorrow Greg, and it’s not your fault but it’s a very sad thing. Unless you can open the doors to the post office by 7am, I don’t think you can assist.