Briar Hetland

its a seriously good time.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Thank god swimsuit season is over. I almost thought about going to the gym.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Show up to @miikecarp 's house with 40 beers and a bottle of whiskey. "Is that all you brought?"

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

My dog of course knows her name, but does she know my name? #showerthoughts

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

The fact that I don't like avocados has saved me hundreds on burritos.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Feelin pretty confident today after my candy wrapper told me to "bet on yourself" so look out, world.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

I sit when I pee in Vegas, because I just don't know what's going to come out.

[Elliott Morgan @ElliottcMorgan]

Emphatically telling a boring story should at least be a misdemeanor.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Genius app idea for all you single twins out there. I call it, Twinder. Patent pending.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

In case anyone forgot my Brad Pitt-esque flow.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

My swimsuit can double as underwear in case I have to deal with anyone that's a high falooter - Dad

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Me, every girl on tinder, and @amypoehler__ don't have time for "fuc boiz" so just don't. I can't even.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

The once or twice I'm at a mall during the year, every dollar spent feels like defeat. Unless it's at the food court.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

TOOT TOOT @BurgerKing adding hot dogs the the menu Feb. 23rd all aboard the diabetes train next stop my thighs. #merica

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Debit card declined buying 1$ coffee. I laughed. You laughed, then gave me a free coffee. #ThanksMcdonalds #SympathyCoffee

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Mom said I need to stop watching spongebob because I'm 22, I quickly changed the subject by complimenting her striped sweater.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Eating unhealthy was a very conscious choice, please do not try to educate me.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Eating unhealthy was a very conscious choice, please do not try to educate me.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Man I love football. My favorite player is John Cena.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

I present my father, the gentleman and lady killer.

[Briar Hetland @bhet02]

Starting a kickstarter to go to the strip club.