Alyse

she/her

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I was at a hardware store buying wood for a small shelf.

A large man named Greg picked up a two-by-four, raised it to his eye like a rifle, closed his left eye, and stared down the entire length of the timber with terrifying intensity.

In my country, a warrior aiming an invisible weapon in a public market is preparing for an ambush. I immediately grabbed a second board, raised it to my right eye, and locked into position beside him.

We stood in Aisle 12 for three minutes in total silence, both sighting our lumber like snipers in flannel.

Greg didn't break focus. He squinted deeper, lowered his board two inches, and muttered, "Twisted. Classic."

He tossed it aside, grabbed another, and aimed again. I quickly checked mine, declared it structurally sound in my heart, and held my breath.

Greg looked over at my stance, nodded with immense respect, and said, "You got an eye for Douglas Fir, brother."

I ended up sighting fourteen boards with one eye closed. My left eyelid was twitching for the next two hours.

Yesterday, I saw a young guy buying wood for a doghouse. I stepped up next to him, raised a 2x4 to my right eye, and gave him a sharp nod.

America does not need expensive laser tools to build a nation. It relies on middle-aged men standing in Home Depot, sighting a piece of pine like a rifle to ensure the house stays straight.

[Katherine @supressedvoic]

Don't stop talking about Palestinian prisoners.
They deserve freedom, not the death penalty by Israel.

[MinuanoBX/DX @AccountMinipry]

pearl is probably the best history teacher ever

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

@DerrickEvans4WV Did yall learn nothing from the poop cruise documentary

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

@otokyo Dante Cruz Dallion James Fredrickson

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

@alialjbour29 .

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

@mohannad1789941 .

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

@_forbisexuals Am I the only one that doesn’t vibe aesthetically with her hair being short

[Emily Gwen @theemilygwen]

https://t.co/67w8UpC0GB

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

@Datweb3guy @OG_Zig_Zag @OrganizerMemes this will help him learn

[Riċ @ricblurs]

smoking weed when you're a beautiful girl must feel so good like damn i'm so fuckin high and beautiful

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

Imma walk down the aisle to an instrumental version of redrum

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

Whoever invented the squatty potty needs their pussy ate NEEOWW🗣️💥📢📢

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

@mayadanae__ Side part eats DOWN

[Roc Nation @RocNation]

“Hiss” by @theestallion is the #1 Music Video on iTunes. Download the song now: https://t.co/mFC6cJJ0Mg

[Alyse @bhutterbaen]

Say it w me friends, that hot nb baddie DOES👏🏽 NOT👏🏽CARE👏🏽ABOUT 👏🏽YOU👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽