Gabriel Biettner

Winner of the 2018 film literature class

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Jett only wears oversized Balenciaga shirts with Gucci jeans and Yeezy 350s. He thinks he’s an icon, but he’s really just a wasted paycheck. #sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

My best friend and I started a fight club. I guess we’re both the official leaders, but you’ll never see us in the same room at the same time. #sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

David is tripping balls right now. Don’t get confused, he’s a professional soccer player. #sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

I’m swimming laps in my backyard pool while Chuck Norris is pursued by sharks during his 10th lap of the Pacific. #sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

The crime wave put people like Aaron in constant torment. But no one thought about the torment the criminals had already been through. #sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

The shackles that J had to bear were nothing in comparison to the heartache that dragged behind him like a ball and chain.
#sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

A lot of people say Austin is crazy, but I think his booty shorts simply make him a misunderstood genius.
#sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Gabe’s senioritis kicked in during his junior year. Hopefully he can make it through the end of this year with enough tweets for his first block class. #sml2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

@s_eptembersky_ People say you were pretty skinny

I say you were really just mini

Stay away while I save the city

-MLK Jr

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Ya head look like a coconut

You can’t touch this fresh crew-cut

Kiss my liberated black butt

-Martin Luther King Jr

@s_eptembersky_

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Billy just wanted to be called Will. His mother refused, finally saying “Your name is David!” Billy’s life was never the same. #SML2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Robert committed a crime of passion. His passion is dogs. This explains the 3 stolen golden retrievers in the backseat of his car.
#SML2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Jeff has an adorable fish. It’s favorite time is feeding time. It loves shredding meat apart. It’s a piranha.
#SML2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

@duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Gabe built a rocket ship,
He wanted to fly away,
Too bad it crashed into the sea,
That was his final day.
#npm18 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

“It wasn’t me,” Orlando says. He’s happy with life, not his wife. It’s too bad she caught him on camera. #SML2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Parasailing is the most exciting sport. Flying above water and looking down only to find your boat crashing into a rock. #SML2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

Simpson has grown tired of running. Flipping his head around he sees no one chasing him. Suddenly he feels his calf muscle torn by teeth. #SML2018 @duncantwitature

[Gabriel Biettner @biettner]

I may not be a talented chef,
Who’s name rhymes with Jeff,
But I do know how to pour milk,
so you’ll know my name is Wilke
@duncantwitature #npm18

[Dylan Curran @iamdylancurran]

Want to freak yourself out? I'm gonna show just how much of your information the likes of Facebook and Google store about you without you even realising it