crystal beth

professional chief mama

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Oh another dream recollection from last night is that I kept shouting macchiato constantly

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Had a dream about a vintage brown sugar orange wine last night. Now I need to taste it

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Maybe tmi but I have like one week left of using my lovey dovey toy and then it’s goodbye forever. I don’t know what I’m gonna do I literally can’t take it home and Im gonna be so unfulfilled without it. HelP MeY. God I’m sad already

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

If I see one more happy couple on my fyp I’m gonna wack someone. Ik you’re not as happy as it looks give it up man be honest. This is my seething jealousy and unloveable side coming out I’m sorry I’m just lonely. I hope everyone’s happy forever

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Genuinely no man in the world turns me on like slobby. Magic powers I tell you. Bro is it raining rn wtaf june

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Surprised Google hasn’t done a delivery service thing just like Amazon

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

I acc have the social battery of a fucking fossil. 12hrs of typing and 12hrs of talking and I’m wiped out for a week so far. Idk how I managed to do this for 6 months straight

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

You know how couples always have their biggest argument on holiday. I think that’s exactly how this holiday js going to go. Thank god I am literally unragebaiteable

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Just saw a tiktok say they feel like they end the convo everytime they speak, and yeah ❤️

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Bossman just intentionally gave me 50p off and it’s fully made my day. Little kindness goes a long way I was edging on tears 5mins ago

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Lip flip? Nah snus. (Just tried to spell snus and accidentally spelt Amish)

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

I acc dread my birthday so much I might just pretend it doesn’t exist. From now on I am birthless and immortal

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

This sleeping mouth tape is unintentionally waxing my top lip every morning

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Boyyy is mama excited for her steak. Might do steak n carbonara or steak n sweet potato and broccoli not sure yet

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

I’m convinced the boys got half their soundtrack from the office. There’s 3/4 songs the same now and they’re so random

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

France in a week I can’t flipping believe it

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Prime just asked if I’m still watching. This is a new low

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

I just want to wake up every morning to a dog violently wagging its whole body on me

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Just discovered I am now a gold jewellery person now I’m ginger. Expensive mistake I’ve made

[crystal beth @bigboobybeth]

Nestle is literally the most evil corporation out there