THE ANC’S RULES FOR SOUTH AFRICA:
1. If it works, break it.
2. If it's broken, blame apartheid.
3. If people protest... call them racist.
4. Steal from the poor... call it "transformation."
5. Raise VAT, fuel prices, and your own salaries.. all in the same week.
6. Complain about colonialism… while wearing imported Italian suits.
7. If someone questions you, say it's "Western interference."
8. Keep the masses poor... then buy votes with food parcels.
9. Call corruption "irregular expenditure."
10. Never resign. Ever. Just reshuffle.
THE ANC’S RULES FOR THEMSELVES:
1. We are never wrong... just misunderstood.
2. Accountability is for the opposition.
3. Stealing isn't corruption if you call it "cadre deployment."
4. The taxpayers' money is basically our bonus pool.
5. Blame apartheid... even if you've been in power for 30 years.
6. Never fix a problem if you can form a commission.
7. If caught red-handed, deny. If exposed, deny louder.
8. Own no businesses. Have friends who own everything.
9. If the heat's on, reshuffle the cabinet and call for unity.
10. Never deliver... just announce "bold plans" every 6 months.