Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’

Fan of birthing people. You realize this is all a joke, right? Dance like no one is watching; tweet like no one is reading.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

I encourage everyone to practice civil disobedience by refusing to wear a mask. Dramatically rip them from your face, spike them on the ground, light them on fire and dance amongst the flames, ripping off your clothes in an orgy of passion, blood and lust.

Reclaim the Target.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@HonestAbeLunt They’re mostly succulents - they love it.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

Lessons on how to do a mantle on an outdoor fireplace:

Rule 1) Don’t be a scared little bitch

Rule 2) Copy whatever I do

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

Me judging your Mother’s Day menu.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@AnnaDsays The Tory Burch ones

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

Hey, @bee__witched - I planted you a bunch of Allium ‘Globemasters.’ Hope you enjoy.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@heatherhasideas Oh, that’s not mine. That’s one I’ve done at one of the most famous gardens in the SE. Mine is sadly still under renovation. Womp womp

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@LuckyMcGee *wine

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@LuckyMcGee Triple reply because I’m three wins bottles in.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@LuckyMcGee

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@LuckyMcGee

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@JoanneMason11 @Machovell1an Thanks, Joanne! All I do is make things sexy!

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@30_holz @JoanneMason11 @Machovell1an Fly down and fetch me and I’ll come fix it, dammit! It’s the least you can give @myhubsdick for Mother’s Day!

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@37smadAmaS - you missed yourself on my #SubtweetSaturday round of nonsense yesterday. I went mostly full wholesome for the first time ever.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

IDK, might fuck around and drink a couple of these just to one up noted wine snob, @MickeyBlowtorch

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@pudd49 That’s awesome.

I was once doing a radio spot with Bobby Cox and the engineer played me an outtake from an interview when someone asked Bobby why Andruw Jones was going through the worst slump of his career.

“Fuck if I know!”

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

Ok, I’m now a bottle of wine into my #CheatDay, and I’m just getting warmed up. I would say AMA, but who cares? So either AMA, or tell me your favorite player from your favorite team ever and I’ll tell you how wrong you are.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@ImNotHimLoll Now I’m grateful I don’t.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@pudd49 Good to hear from you, Chris! How you been?

You’re wrong of course. The best player in the history of Philly sports was the turf at the Vet. #Science

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@ImNotHimLoll Great job, muthafucka!

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

Fact check: true.

[Your Mom’s Favorite, Wild West Pimp Stylin’ @BigDaddyLand]

@SaintRPh