lamba

Broken crayons still color, right?

[lamba @bigLamba09]

We all die eventually, yet many live as if they'll never face it.

[Pella Ìkà X @pella_ika_]

Nothing pains Dickson more than “you are not a lagosian, you are Igbo from delta state”…

He fit burst into tears 😂😂

[Elena 💕 @Elenabardyf]

When Adam needed a wife, God didn’t hand him a single mother of three. He gave him a virgin.

[BigBoss Luffy @BB_Luffyxx]

"Men can't find the clit"
- nurse who constantly misses the vein

[Eva Galán. @evagalanx]

🇺🇸 En Estados Unidos: ↓

Tu hijo dice que le gusta el fútbol.

Lo apuntas a un equipo.
A las tres semanas alguien menciona un “travel team”.
Preguntas qué es.
Error.
Ahora entrenáis tres días por semana.
El sábado hay partido.
El domingo también.
Pero a 180 km.
Reservas hotel.
Compras otra equipación.
Botas nuevas.
Bolsa nueva.
Cuotas del club.
Torneo de primavera.
Torneo de verano.
Campamento de tecnificación.
Entrenador privado.
Alguien habla de “exposure”.
Tu hijo tiene 11 años.
Hay vídeos de sus partidos.
Estadísticas.
Rankings.
Otro padre te pregunta si habéis pensado en becas universitarias.

Tu hijo sigue teniendo 11 años.

El calendario familiar gira alrededor del deporte.
Tú ya conoces hoteles de carretera de cinco estados.
El coche huele permanentemente a césped artificial.
Domingo por la noche.
Llegáis a casa.
Tu hijo pregunta:
—¿Puedo salir a jugar al fútbol con mis amigos?

Solo querías que hiciera un poco de deporte.

[Islam Bouafif 🇹🇳🇵🇸 @BouafifNour]

I know for a fact PSG are not going to play that Strasbourg game.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

I’m not going back and forth with somebody whose first congratulations in their life came from having a baby

[$$$ @fwedesignerx]

+234 parents mehn, you fit dey reason generational wealth, make dem dey plan salary work for you.

[GameView @gameviiew]

Ps5 game cooking

[ajay @1meajay]

“i know you’re a sweet boy, i just can’t prove it.”

come experience true stinginess. you wise pass all the girls wey nor gree date me abi?

[YabaLeftOnline @yabaleftonline]

Lady shares why her colleague got fired.

[Rhoda @Symply_rhoda1]

Then she asked:

“Does the company give her money every time she misses something important?”

My boss laughed.

“No, but she gets paid to work.”

She replied:

“Then you should pay her extra tomorrow because you’re taking away something she can never get back.”

Silence.

Then my boss asked, “What time is your school performance?”

“10 a.m.”

“Your mummy will be there.”

She screamed, “THANK YOU!”

Then hung up.

When I came back, my phone had one message from my boss:

“Your daughter just negotiated your leave better than you ever have. Enjoy the performance tomorrow.”

Kids really do say the one thing adults are too scared to say.

[Menya @menyaaaaaaaaaaa]

There’s something my married sister taught me.
She said, “if you ever get to the point where you have to split the bills when you marry, make sure you choose to pay the rent and not the feeding”

[Abeni Okin🦚❤️ @Jemeelahh_]

We fought, broke up, found our way back to each other, made up and somehow ended up married. 😂🙂‍↔️

[Salamat @sallamhat]

Women deserve awards for endurance. Imagine kissing a smoker and pretending everything is fine

[Big £ 👑 @ebukaundisputed]

I once worked for a Nigerian senator and one thing is, those people can’t differentiate between night or day. This man would ring you at 1am and you dare not ignore 😩

They hate paying salaries. They just believe working with them is a huge favor and nothing more.

[SH3RIFF ™️🥤 @shrfthedrm]

Nah gnf teach me how to cook beans btw, with voice note 😭

[✰𝕚𝕕𝕒𝕟 @elvisstilldey]

this take dey absurd lmao.
how’s beans now associated with sapa?
omo nawa ooo.

[Tife @Tife_CFC]

Everybody must help Ronaldo 😹😹😹

[. @alphacruiz]

But see as everywhere quiet,

You don believe say girls no Dey reciprocate ba, no do pass yourself!

[ִֶָ @Motee_1]

nothing beats playing football with your guys
your set go score, dem go cancel am, your set go score again, una go come shout “game no dey lie”
peak male experience😂