mary

I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. your granny’s fave hooker🧶 birth and cannabis advocate🧙🏼‍♀️🔮🏳️‍🌈

[maybe: vicky @coldpizzasIice]

this is what listening to chappell roan feels like

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

“He looks like he doesn’t shower” sweetie I don’t just look like it

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Whoever is making these dog treat flavors is testing my strength rn like it looks and smells fantastic and I’m hungry too probably hungrier than my dog is so plz don’t call me a freak when I’m tempted to take a nibble

[$hacora 💖🎀 @shacoraaaaa]

i’m telling y’all EVERYTIME😂😂😂😂😂😂

[mary @bigmommamare]

@magickshayshay The amount of times I’ve peed in the back seat in a large Dunkin’ cup

[Shay 🦋 @magickshayshay]

Hot

[mary @bigmommamare]

My 3 year old son has been hyping me up so hard that his father is now taking notes and stepping up his game with me 😂 I’ve gotten “ugh you are SO PRETTY. like super pretty” “WOW, you are so FASHIONABLE MOMMY” and those are just to name a couple 😂 big hype man simp energy

[mary @bigmommamare]

@magickshayshay Honestly it has its perks, but we’re going on a year of this shit and I’m ready to be 2gether4ever again

[mary @bigmommamare]

Who know after being together for 12 years, I’d be in a long distance relationship. I sure wouldn’ta thunk.

[mary @bigmommamare]

So lemme get this straight. Ppl are mad bc dylan mulvaney keeps tampons on her in case another person with a uterus needs one? Okay caring queen. Why are we mad at generous and prepared people? 😂 and yes I’m late to this drama

[mary @bigmommamare]

POV: we are your parents and think you’re the funniest, most entertaining person in the world

[mary @bigmommamare]

@magickshayshay A soar dough Sammy with sautéed tomato, egg, arugula and feta the balsamic glaze drizzle 🤤🤤🤤 so easy to whip up too

[Shay 🦋 @magickshayshay]

Love her sm

[mary @bigmommamare]

@magickshayshay Everyone at my Dunkin’ knows me to the point where I pull up and regardless of if it’s a dude or gal they go “we gotchu Mary pull around”

[mary @bigmommamare]

@magickshayshay Okay serving

[mary @bigmommamare]

@magickshayshay T’s and P’s babe!

[mary @bigmommamare]

Can’t wait to be a grown up (aka when my kids are grown ups and I am abundant) so I can leave my husband for a week at a time and travel the world with my bestie/hetero life partner.

[mary @bigmommamare]

Until next time 💔🌈

[mary @bigmommamare]

When my 3 yr old is the big spoon>> 🥲