Timothy Claypole

Writer, Reader, Talker, Breather, Eater, Sitter, Stander, Sleeper, Scroller.

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

Please don't click on Sun/Mail links to see how shit they are. Those clicks are money in their pockets and don't give a shit about why you clicked. Just assume they are being massive arseholes and move on. You'll feel better and their audience will shrink.

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

@eddieizzard @RiversideLondon Skim read this and thought you were doing Riverdance. Would watch that also.

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

To be fair Macarons are a pain to make

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

@unklerupert @DaftLimmy @AnnoDracula Look at that timing on my feed

[… @mrmuskisacunt]

‘Well don’t call it “bottomless Prosecco” then!’

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

@quantick Morrissey Biscuit

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

'How was work today?'

'Whilst trying to find the location of the soul I removed a frog's brain and discovered it won't then jump out of hot water'

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

I follow a load of people with different opinions to me on here, but it never hurts to look at the feed of the guy everyone is talking about and see if I can add some more to my list.

Hard pass.

[RK Jackson | Atlanta 🛸 @theerkj]

been laughing at this all morning thank you very much.

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

Boris will get the text message about two hours from now from Yodel 'We've left your package with a feral cat that was close by'

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

They 'Got Brexit Done' to the same extent Trump finished his border wall.

[Pointless Letters @pointlesslettrs]

REASONS WHY BRITAIN IS TOTALLY RUINED THESE DAYS, NUMBER 39,845: “People saying ‘how are you’ on the radio.”

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

@MimiCodd "I don’t know the words (Jennifer, ______, Phillipa, Sue?)"

You forgot their name?

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

Twitter

https://t.co/u587pqPNZm

[Simon Brew @simonbrew]

New podcast! I've ventured towards a comic book movie again, with the story of 2016's Suicide Squad, a hard deadline from the studio, and all sorts of problems in post production. Available here... https://t.co/p4ZR1PhGSx

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

Is it by sitting down until you're dead?

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

@MimiCodd It's like someone turned Sully from Monsters Inc into a hundred cushions and then tried to reassemble him.

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

I can't believe the MSM isn't covering every story which agrees with my current opinions as much as they're covering other stories which don't.

[Timothy Claypole @bigtrousers]

Just a "mirror show me" away from an accidental Tool song.