Taylor Wallace

When I am empty please dispose of me properly.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

@Beaches_love_me @michaelschwab13 Apparently not. Makes me miss Dusty and his damn toothpick. He would’ve gotten tossed out of solidarity.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Spotify should team up with Better Help and push ads for therapy to people that listen to Silver Jews regularly.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

@michaelschwab13 Genuine question: why didn’t we put Urquidy in for Javier in the first in game 7? When we finally put him in he pitched fantastically, but it was too late.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

@michaelschwab13 Uncle Mike would’ve caught that ball Carter hit. Just sayin…

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Was Jesus the first nepo baby? 🤔

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

YO DUSTY AINT WEARIN’ GLOVES WHATS GOING ON #ASTROS

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Fuck the pitch clock, I barely have time to tweet while watching now.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Baseball!

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Every single time I get in line to check out at the auto parts store the person in front of me has to ask a thousand questions. Dude you’re buying coolant, it’s not that complicated.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

On the plane now. The cobb salad gave me a tummy ache, but I’m being brave.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Does anyone else have a hard time getting the inside of their nose to feel “normal” again after blowing it?

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

If any of y’all are trying to link up I’ll be drinking beers and smashburger 🍔

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

People watching at the airport. 🧵

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Somebodies “Auntie”

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

People watching at the airport. 🧵

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Made eye contact with a boomer dad in a track suit

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Weed plug guy in pajama pants and a poncho.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Tejás.

[Taylor Wallace @bigwaylor]

Food at the airport is expensive, but at least it’s not very good.