Fronto leaf

i survived the crucible and all i got was this lousy shirt

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Plugged a bootleg elf bar into my computer to charge and Chinese malware turned my laptop into a bitcoin mining rig

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

I’m personally gonna be tuning into the Turning Point USA NBA finals this year to watch Jaden Ivey put some shots up in an empty gym

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Sorry man I can’t do literally anything else, I got THE BIGGEST fish to fry.

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Yeah so turns out “spin class” doesn’t involve twirling around in a circle for a few hours. Fuck everything I guess

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

White suburban bee: lmao bumbleclat!

Jamaican bee: me gwan pollinate

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Sitting on your roof and hanging under your crawl space. I occupy the grey area between what’s yours and what’s not

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

What am I, chopped chin?

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

All my vices have convenient form factors

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

First guy ever: all I’m saying is that oranges are way jucier and orangey tasting than apples

Second guy ever: dude you can’t do that

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Walking into footlocker yelling “REF YOU SUCK”

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

*trying eggs for the first time*

mmmm… it kinda tastes like uh, salty flan almost

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Tree contest when we live in the forest, fuck you

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

They treatin me like a puffle but I’m full penguin! Gotta find a #newclub

That igloo #toocold

#fridaytruths

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Say what you will about Mr. Hyde, but at least he has the good faith to recognize his tendencies of professional misconduct prohibit him from holding Dr. Jekyll’s official designation

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Heavy is the head that wears the frown :(

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

They’re gonna throw a parade in Mexico over this

[Epik @EpikEpikson]

DRAGON BALL SUPER IS OFFICIALLY BACK THANK YOU TOEI 😭🙏

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

autoerotic defenestration

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

me *writhing in pain*: “AHHHHH”

ops: “Say the line scorpion cleric!”

scorpion cleric *casting ‘summon scorpion’ again*: “Now that’s GOTTA STING”

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

Me when the barmaid has a TREMENDOUS bosom:

Haha hey…. can I get a… a uh…umm…Coors heavy?
*flex both biceps*
and some… uh… raw steak?

[Fronto leaf @biigpouter]

I’m rich in ways you can’t imagine

Money doesn’t grow on trees… but apples do
#yummyinmytummy