Maurice

jouska

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

It almost feels like Apple forgot that Siri is one of their features

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Imagine being an incomprehensibly rare sentient grouping of matter living on a rock hurtling through the void of space and then obsessing over something like politics

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

My dad recently bought a new power washer and now he gets calls from his friends to come over to power wash the deck and chill

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Hilariously cruel joke how many overlapping symptoms there are between anxiety and brain tumors

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

I could confidently conduct a job interview on this one question alone

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

How brown of a banana someone is willing to eat really says a lot about their character

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

If you say no, listen to this song and ask yourself again

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Be honest, if Donald Trump picks up a microphone next year at a debate and just spits in the lyrics to Donald Trump by Mac Miller with his chest, you votin for him?

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Being in nyc is like being in an abusive relationship. When it’s good it’s real good, but when it’s bad it’s real, real bad

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

A tweet I hope never goes viral:
“Lmao remember when we thought Covid was bad?!”

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Drunk texting my therapist

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Playing “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” by U2 in the super market is frustratingly poignant

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Even if I have absolutely no clue what I’m looking for you better believe I’m thoroughly inspecting every single piece of produce before I bag it

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

@elistapleton1 Ayyyyyooooooo

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Shrimp tacos near me

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Shut your broke ass up

[Android @Android]

It’s time to fix texting. Help Apple #GetTheMessage

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

Love how China puts stickers on everything they produce like “yea that’s right mf you know what it is”

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

@elistapleton1 I am a hot man.

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

It’s a real coffee on the porch type of morning

[Maurice @bill_cabIe]

She’s a 10 but she spits her gum out the window