billnyethescienceguy

I’m a younger version of the guy that told us millennials to fuck off

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Instead of going out to the bar I recommend going to Publix and buying a pizza, renting a redbox movie, and getting a bottle of wine (or two). I’ll just wait and find the girl that wants to do that every once in a while

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

@jcole4848 @Ferrari I know the deeper meaning of this

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Super sexy sloppy seconds sipping syrup on a Saturday starts singing sounds slappy

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

@sarahnicoleryer Order Taco Bell and tequila to get delivered and just try to piece together what that bitch Karen said to piss you off and hold myself back from backslapping that bitch sideways for telling you that Minecraft is stupid bc guess what Karen... you look fat in ALL OF YOUR JEANS

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Everyone said Publix was out of water but when I went they had plenty of Busch Light

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Why does everyone come to class the first week... you know you’re gonna drop out and become a stripper so just do it already

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

@jcole4848 Do you love your small penis too?

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Imagine if I could retire Stan

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

@jcole4848 You’re such a fucking hoe... I love it

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

@jcole4848 I thought we were already dating?

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Have you ever sent a text and been like “this looks fine I totally want to send this” and then the next day you’re like “what the actual fuck was I thinking”

[John Cole @jcole4848]

Got in my car to go help my buddy move, phone predicted I was going to the liquor store at 1:30 on a Sunday.. my phone has little faith in me

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

@sarahnicoleryer @jcole4848

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Therapist: And what is the healthy way of dealing with those emotional traumas pushed down deep inside your subconscious that cause you the inability to love another?

Me: *shotguns y-bomb* *does a 4 horsemen shot* *calls crazy ex to get back together*

Therapist: you’re a genius

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Are you ever studying for a final and end up applying to be a stripper? Asking for a friend

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Pro tip: drink a bottle of tequila and then, instead of throwing away the bottle, reuse it to bottle up your emotions #alcohol

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Relationship status: I can drink two bottles of wine all by myself

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Just buy her some flowers and candy every once in a while. It’s not that hard. She doesn’t expect you to pay for everything. If you can’t afford that, make her a paper card

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

Commitment? Is that a type of tequila?

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

I’m marrying an alcoholic Oh........ oh fuck

[John Cole @jcole4848]

I’m marrying an ex

Damnit, I know exactly where this is going

[billnyethescienceguy @billnyetheguyyy]

@jcole4848 I also know where this is going and I don’t like it one bit