Bill Shackelford

Im mature

[Jeremy Johnson @123JeremyJ]

@springfieldNL My denomination allows for nachos.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Me: Hey babe I have a fever. Heather: A fever, what is it? Me: It’s where your body temperature increases to help fight diseases, but that’s not important right now.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

TIL: the penal system is checked by the Department Of Corrections. Not by your urologist. Interesting.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Sleep talking is the best. My wife just said “someone needs to put eye drops in your butt crack”

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

I was such a dumb kid, I thought heinous is what you got after setting on straw bale too long.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

@RyanWinkle7 Lol yup! This is it

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

I called my son sweet, and he immediately farted on my face. So there’s that.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Ok @BurgerKing your ch’king has bested @PopeyesChicken chicken Sandwhich. I’m very impressed

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

I want so many more tattoos!

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Hey @johnkrasinski in honor of mental health awareness month here some good news https://t.co/GQQEwsGFJ6 #SGN

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

TRUTH in a time of lies. https://t.co/GQQEwsYgAE via @YouTube

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Brilliant

[Demetri Martin ([email protected]) @DemetriMartin]

Squash.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

@RyanWinkle7 @BarstoolBigCat That blitz comes hard and fast right in your face.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Very insightful

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

My 1st tweet in 8 months is to let @tomsegura know that I just had my first #DoublePipeClassic I have no words to describe my euphoria

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

@ThatJoshArnold I also spit shine. #DoNotSpitShameMe

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Ref: looks like the rams are gaining momentum. Let’s make up a holding call to stop them.

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

@brendonurie hey man, my wife and I had tickets to your show in KC tonight. Unfortunately, I’m too sick to go. #breakaleg #TheBestFriendYouHaveNeverMet #CoughingBlood #hospital

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

@themcgarryman10 What?!?!

[Bill Shackelford @billyshack]

Eric Gibson: Your Thrivent Representative: https://t.co/Ei3QZT8r4g via @YouTube