Bimmer Jones

Don't mind me, I'm just an ugly cat in a German car.

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Republican voters are still drinking the spray-tan. The next President of the United States is likely Kamala Harris, by succession, or by winning in 2028. #VoteBlue #Trump #MAGAts

[Political Polls @Politics_Polls]

2024 National Republican Primary:

Trump 48%
Pence 13%
DeSantis 8%
Trump Jr. 7%
Romney 4%
Haley 4%
Cruz 4%
Tim Scott 2%
Rubio 1%
Noem 1%
Pompeo 1%
Cheney 1%
Hawley 0%
Hogan 0%
Rick Scott 0%

.@MorningConsult/@politico, 982 RV, 5/14-17
https://t.co/Vcj0lGMiRD

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

@Microsoft Most iconic duo-- Hall and Oates?

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

@Swallowyerpride Mint is probably one of the best deals going if you're a light-to-moderate data user or need that data for full-speed tethering. Don't buy more wireless than you need.

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

@POTUS Mr. President, we may not need all that vaccine, but we need to ensure Americans are getting the vaccine that remains. We must work to get hesitant populations in the southeast inoculated, and build support among science-averse state governments. (This means you, Alabama.)

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

@Google takes the lead from @Facebook in the race to become the worst .com in the world. #DontBeEvil #RepublicansAreDestroyingAmerica #YouAreTheProduct

[Jane Mayer @JaneMayerNYer]

👀Google, Deloitte, and Citigroup quietly collaborate with GOP group pushing voter suppression, by @JuddLegum https://t.co/upsICclW5s

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

@ThatKevinSmith My partner's a Disney fan-- She'll fight you for the Mickey stuff. My best pal will claim the Star Wars gear. I'll take care of Snoopy.

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

If only Steven Bochco had let Ricky Schroeder show his ass on NYPD Blue, perhaps Shroeder wouldn't have been an ass to this Costco employee. #COVIDIOTS #WashedUp

[Headliner Clip Caption @HeadlinerClip]

@StephenAnfield 👋 we updated @davenewworld_2’s voice tweet to include *automatic* captions…

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Duke of Sussex: "America's free speech protection is 'bonkers.'"
America: "Our free speech protection let you speak your mind to Oprah Winfrey."
Don't bite too many hands-- Frogmore won't welcome you back anytime soon. #PrinceHarry #MeghanMarkle
https://t.co/cjoLFzlZ1q

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Just remember, this is Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo, saying this. #covidiots #antivaxxers #MAGAts #releaseYourCapsLock

[Rob Schneider 🇺🇸 @RobSchneider]

The ONLY real QUESTION I have for my 896,100 FOLLOWERS is THIS?
WILL YOU EVER FALL FOR THIS BULLSH#T EVER AGAIN?!
The NEXT TIME YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS WANT TO LOCK YOU INTO YOUR HOUSES, TRY TO RUIN YOUR LIVELIHOOD, AND LOCK YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF SCHOOL, WHAT WILL YOU TELL THEM???

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Ben Garrison's scribblings are as obscene as Dan Collins' cartoons for Hustler. Collins is funny. Garrison isn't. Disney may not be able to sue him for libel, but they'll make sushi out of Nemo and Dory before they ever let Garrison into one of the parks.

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

24 hours? Not even 24 minutes.
Biden overdelivers again. Just to piss off the GOP. #RepublicansAreTheProblem #BidenGasLines
https://t.co/LqiShzE88R

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

@UofAlabama **Tube TV's suggest photo taken before #UA25 undergrads were born.

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Salt Lake City: We don't want to wear masks.
Restaurant: Ok, get vaccinated.
SLC: We don't want to get vaccinated.
Restaurant: Fine, order from Domino's, then.
#COVIDIOTS #Utah #antivaxxers
https://t.co/n0aGJW6coK

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

REAL FACT: Biden can't prevent private sector fuckups. This could just have easily happened under the Big Orange MAGAt's watch. #Republicans #BidenGasLines

[John Rodriguez @lugunzz]

Facts #BidenGasShortage #BidenGasLines #bidentheclown

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Sure, @NewYorkGOP. Go ahead and blame Biden for #ColonialPipeline's infosec blunder, then yowl again when Dems propose tighter infrastructure regs to ensure it doesn't happen again. Assholes. #BidenGasLines #RepublicansAreDestroyingAmerica

[New York GOP @NewYorkGOP]

Biden’s America is running on empty!
But at least we have no more mean tweets!🙄 #BidenGasLines

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Sean Hannity takes another slurp from the man who made Richard Nixon appear virtuous. #MAGAts #Trump #TrumpOverTruth #FoxNews #RepublicansAreDestroyingAmerica

[Sean Hannity 🇺🇸 @seanhannity]

TRUMP UNLOADS: ‘Comparing Biden to Jimmy Carter is Very Unfair to Jimmy Carter’ https://t.co/PlqYCm9ndL

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Once again, Alabama demonstrates systemic racism and poor financial stewardship by leaving much-needed federal money on the table. On Juneteenth. #Albama #racism #IveyKillsAlabamians #VoteBlueIn22
https://t.co/It0QQNa1i2

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

@FoxNews : 25 years of passing off opinion as news. Rupert Murdoch's diaper has more truth in it than his network. #MAGAts #FoxNews #Editorializing

[Fox News @FoxNews]

Battered Biden under siege as crises confound the White House

https://t.co/DcRcmF8qyH

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

"Orthodoxy means not thinking – not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness." @HouseGOP sends Liz Cheney to the backbench for having the temerity to think. #MAGAts #trumprepublicans #Republicans #NineteenEightyFour
https://t.co/U59qgjEzeh

[Bimmer Jones @bimmer_jones]

Donald J. Trump must have been guzzling mint juleps since the Kentucky Derby. #Trump #kentuckyderby2021 #HorseRacing #Horseshit

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Is he ... is he aware that Medina Spirit is a horse?