Bingonglius Funklebottom

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Shoutout to whatever the bartender put in those beers

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

@DavidS36_ buddy I AM ADMIN

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Can’t believe they gave me, a man who will consume any floor pill with zero questions asked and a chronic addiction to smacking pen in the bathroom, the ability to take down the company with a single click. I’m like 4 more manic episodes away from it happening

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Beef jerky and goldfish as snacks in the office kitchen. I’ll be taking #10ofeach to-go

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

My car totaled itself bro

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

What’s a swagged out Mormon white boy gotta do to get some durf

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Homeless guy flirting: let’s take this back to your place and slip into something more comfortable

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

In my mechatronic gimp suit at Walmart

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

The sun made me their bitch yesterday

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Girlfriend randomly said she’d eat my ass yesterday. I’m fully shaved and ready today

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Yeah if only Detroit could have mainstream celebs like Spike Lee, Ben Stiller, and Jay Z. All guys in their primes

[KnicksNation @KnicksNation]

We are not the same lmao

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

I’m picking up the nasty ass fuck you burger from Arby’s, want anything?

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Transferring money from my boss to my landlord in record time

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

For someone so behind at work, I sure am moving with an extreme lack of urgency

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

My brothers in Amsterdam and I’m stuck jerking off in my office

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

What’s 1 Michelob Ultra going to do?

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Just got called a metrosexual in the office because of my outfit I must be dressed slutty

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Just took one of those shits you have to write a tweet about

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

CEO turning the company into an Indian cold call center

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

You can’t get your dick sucked and suck it at the same time

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

I couldn’t care less that Iowa beat my Tigers, Florida will always be enemy number 1 for me. REST IN PISS

[Bingonglius Funklebottom @bing0funk]

Your coach is a pedofile and a loser to this “loser”

[Florida Gators 🐊🔥 @gatorsszn]

Iowa’s coach is such a loser