Bing

Cyber Security Analyst, Engineer, Physicist, Navy Vet

[Wall Street Mav @WallStreetMav]

When Jimmy Carter purchased the teachers’ union’s endorsement in 1979 by establishing the Department of Education, the USA was #1 in education.

46 years and $4.1 trillion dollars later, the USA is #40. We are, however, #1 in cost per student.

[Bojan Tunguz @tunguz]

"You are sheltering a Mythos-level model in your server room, are you not?"

[Brivael Le Pogam @brivael]

Oui

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The official line is that they were a Norwegian trade delegation. Technically accurate, because they are Nordic, and there was trade. But they are also seven feet tall, telepathic, and arrived on the South Lawn without a vehicle.

I am the Deputy Director of Visitor Logistics at the White House. I logged them into WAVES as FOREIGN DIGNITARIES (3), NON-TERRESTRIAL, NO MOTORCADE REQUIRED, and the meeting went extremely well.

The Pleiadians requested the audience in March. They communicate telepathically, which the President respected immediately, because it meant nothing was in writing.

They traveled 444 light-years to deliver a warning about our trajectory as a species, the kind of warning a doctor gives a patient who keeps asking if he can smoke in the waiting room. Atomic weapons. Ocean collapse. Machine intelligence. I did not take complete notes, because the meeting ran 25 minutes and he spent the first eleven asking where they got the jackets.

Their opening offer: clean fusion, the cure for every disease, the propulsion equations. Free. Contingent on planetary disarmament.

His advisors begged him not to negotiate against a species that reads minds. It turned out he is the one man alive with nothing to find. They reached into his mind expecting layer upon layer of deception and found a single image, perfectly clear: him, wearing one of their jackets. The delegation conferred for a long moment and informed us that in eleven thousand years of contact, no species had ever tried to buy the uniform. They called it coherence. They did not mean it as a compliment. He has already trademarked it.

He countered. Landing rights, retroactive to 1947. Eighty years of unauthorized airspace use, invoiced with interest. Legal added a line item for the weather balloon story. Narrative services. We billed them for our own cover-up, and the tall one went silent for nine seconds, which I am told is how their species weeps.

Greenland stays in the deal. They did not want Greenland. He said that's how he knew it was valuable. What kind of advanced civilization passes on waterfront?

Then UFC Freedom 250. This Sunday. Seven bouts on the same lawn we were standing on. His birthday, which he assured them was a coincidence the universe keeps arranging. He offered them galactic distribution rights. Then he looked at the tall one for a long time and offered him the co-main event. Seven feet. Reach like a cathedral door. Walks around at a weight our scales log as an error. Someone said the commission would never sanction it. He appoints the commission.

The tall one declined. He lowered the offer to the prelims. This is a negotiating technique.

They asked if staging a cage fight on the negotiation site was a threat display. He said it was a Flag Day celebration, and also yes.

I should note that an environmental group has sued to stop the octagon. Nobody has sued to stop the aliens. I forwarded this to Counsel as proof that the permitting process is working.

Protocol required a gift exchange. They presented a small silver sphere that shows the holder the full consequences of his choices. He looked into it for four seconds and asked if it came in gold.

You have all seen the photo. A groundskeeper took it through the magnolias. We told the press pool it was a costume rehearsal for a streaming series, and the pool, to their credit, wrote that down. The groundskeeper now works at the Department of Energy. I am told this is a promotion.

There is also footage. He spotted the camera mid-meeting and pointed at it the way you'd point at a waiter whose name you intend to learn. Instead of having it confiscated, he licensed it on the spot. The leak is now official merchandise. Every time you share it, a royalty accrues. You have probably shared it. Have you checked? He thanks you for your business.

The deal collapsed at dusk. The Pleiadians withdrew the fusion offer when he asked them to walk out before the main event as Special Guests of the Octagon. They said humanity was not ready. He had Counsel log that as a verbal option to renew.

Final tally: our species declined the cure for every disease and counteroffered with pay-per-view. The delegation received two tickets to the Ellipse screening area. Not cageside. He does not give away cageside.

They left without sound. One moment present, then elsewhere, like a fee disclosure.

Two things before Sunday. The walkout jackets for the main card are red with gold embroidery. Licensed. The fusion fell through, but the jackets closed in an afternoon.

And there are three seats on the South Lawn logged as HOLD, GUESTS OF THE PRINCIPAL, DO NOT ASSIGN. I did not enter that hold. The system says I did.

He says everyone comes back to the table.

We're the only planet with the belt.

[C3 @C_3C_3]

386 days after Elon’s decline and fall…

He’s the World’s first trillionaire.

The Media truly does suck.

[Henrick Johansson @compliantvc]

Elon Musk is about to become a trillionaire

If he agreed to pay just 80% of that as a wealth tax to the EU, the EU government could use its efficient operating experience to fund bicycles with solar panels attached to them for over 40 residents of the Netherlands

Elon is being selfish by not paying the wealth tax

[Klara @klara_sjo]

"If I could time travel I’d kill Hitler”

“If I had time travel I’d stop my favorite politician getting assassinated”

You’re all thinking way too small.

If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half the planet.

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Day 3 of no caffeine and I’ve lost hearing in my right eye

[Bethany O’Leary 🇺🇸 🦅 @BethanyForTruth]

🚨 BREAKING: Major Security Breach at Houston’s George Bush Intercontinental Airport;

25-year-old Houston man Abdulrahman Oriyomi is facing felony charges after authorities say he slipped through TSA screening with a fake boarding pass and boarded a United flight to Los Angeles.

He moved through multiple security layers, blended in with passengers, and got past the gate while employees were distracted.

Once onboard, he sat in the wrong seat, bounced between bathrooms, used a false name, and even helped force the plane back to the gate.

The flight was delayed for hours.

HOW does this happen at one of America’s busiest airports? TSA and airport security have some serious explaining to do.

Our so-called security systems are an absolute joke.

[The Little Platoon @PlatoonPod]

"Jyn, my stardust, I have placed a weakness deep within the system. A flaw so small and powerful, they will never find it. I have made the Death Star non-compliant under OSHA 29 CFR 1926.502, incurring a cost of $16,550 per day for failure to abate violations."

[Bridgewater Police (Massachusetts) @BwtrPolice]

05/23/2026 10:40AM Caller from South/Pleasant Street reports male party wearing camo clothing and possibly carrying a bazooka in the area. Officer reports male is landscaper with leaf blower.

[Shoe @samosaur]

Few are going to understand the severity of this situation.

From a counterintelligence perspective, this man was apparently on no one’s radar while possessing some wildly lucrative “work related” assets.

OR*

He was, and more people were involved. (Where I’d bet my money).

The worst part though is his top secret clearance. There are approximately 1.3 million people in the U.S. who hold a TS, and there are only a few thousand investigators (that number fluctuates).

The system is overloaded with too few checks and balances in place (I’ve said this for years).

I have a deep background in counterintelligence, and I’m very familiar with the investigative process for a TS clearance, and if any of this story is accurate, it casts a massive shadow on the competency and integrity our nation relies on for security.

[cdrsalamander @cdrsalamander]

The “Top-3” movement makes progress.

[Brivael Le Pogam @brivael]

Moi je suis personnellement:

•GDPR compliant
•SOC2
•HIPAA (au cas où un client soigne ses traumatismes avec mes post)
•ISO 27001 (le badge LinkedIn ultime)
•PCI-DSS (je touche pas à tes CB, promis, mais j’ai le tampon)
•CCPA (pour rassurer le californien qui clique sur “Do Not Sell My Data” en buvant son matcha)
•CSRD (parce que l’UE veut savoir combien de CO2 émet mon GPU quand il rêve)
•WCAG 2.2 AAA (mes 404 sont lisibles en braille par un lecteur d’écran daltonien)
•FedRAMP High (techniquement non, mais ça en jette dans un deck)
•AI Act ready (mon IA a lu Kant, elle est éthique)
•NIST CSF (j’ai mis le PDF dans un dossier, ça compte)
•DORA compliant (mes microservices résistent mieux qu’un fonctionnaire un lundi matin)
•ASMR-friendly (mes serveurs ronronnent à 432 Hz pour ton bien-être)
•Compliant avec les 10 commandements (sauf “tu ne convoiteras pas la roadmap du voisin”, on bosse dessus)

[Sweet Meteor O'Death @smod4real]

He’s approaching the rental car desk. Send all employees home except for one, who is locked in a battle with another customer for the dumbest reasons imaginable. Make sure the only employee at the desk types out an entire novel before she acknowledges him.

[Flightradar24 @flightradar24]

There’s just something so satisfying about the organization across the Atlantic. Here's the beginning of the westbound crossing today.

[sonch @soncharm]

Once, government funded ‘research’ to collect strange viruses from caves & intentionally make them worse in labs for some reason. They claimed it was to ‘help figure out how to stop them if they crossed over’, but when one did get out went pandemic & killed millions of people not only was the ‘research’ shown to be absolutely useless at providing any kind of actionable insight at ‘stopping it’, but then governments implemented mass human-rights violations in ‘response to’ the virus, which ‘measures’ didn’t help virus-wise either but did do trillions of dollars worth of social-utility harm to human society and probably killed millions of people in their own right. No one believes this when you say it out loud straightforwardly like that but it’s true, it’s historical fact, it all happened once exactly like this

[Blair Dulder CPA™ 🧃 @runaway_vol]

An ounce of plutonium Pu-239 contains roughly 570 million kcal, enough to nourish you for your whole life, but of course we’re not allowed to eat it and have to stuff our faces with low-calorie “food” day in, day out

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

If Microsoft Copilot was an actual copilot