Dylan Bischoff

I do numbers.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

The man at the hardware store called me "boss."

I do not work there. I want to be clear about that from the beginning, because of what followed.

I had only asked where the nails were. He pointed and said, "aisle six, boss."

Boss.

I stood very still. A title is not given lightly. In my country, to be named the head of a house is a ceremony that takes a full day and three witnesses. This man had done it in half a second, over nails, and walked away.

But done is done. I had been appointed. I would not dishonor the appointment.

So I assumed my duties.

I began arriving early. I learned where everything was. When a customer looked lost, I guided them, because a boss does not abandon his people. When two boxes fell, I restacked them. When a child cried, I gave the child a small respectful nod, and the child stopped, because authority comforts.

A real employee found me straightening the paint cans. He asked what I was doing. I told him, simply, "my job."

He called his manager. The manager arrived. I bowed and prepared to receive my first performance review.

The manager said, "Sir, you can't be back here."

I understood. A new boss must earn trust. I accepted the demotion with grace. I returned to the floor and continued serving the people, now from a humbler station, which only deepened my resolve.

By closing time I had helped forty customers, reunited a man with the correct drill bit, and been thanked, by name, as "boss," four more times.

Four more appointments. I now hold five titles at a store that does not employ me.

A weaker man might find this confusing.

I find it an honor I never asked for, and cannot return, so I have simply decided to be worthy of it.

The manager walked me out gently and said, "have a good one, chief."

Chief.

I stopped at the door.

That is a promotion.

So I will be back tomorrow. Earlier. There is clearly a path here for a man willing to work, and I intend to climb it, one kind stranger's word at a time, until I have earned every title this generous country keeps handing me for free.

I do not know what I am the boss of.

But I will protect it with my life.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. Summer. It is 95 degrees outside, and I am shivering inside a sandwich shop.

I have discovered how Americans forge strong souls.

Outside, the sun is trying to kill everyone. Inside this small restaurant, it is winter. My breath does not fog, but it is thinking about it. A man near me is eating a cold sandwich while wearing a jacket. In summer. Indoors.

In Japan we would simply turn it down. Americans do not turn it down. And now I understand them better than they understand themselves.

This cold is not an accident. This cold is a gift.

The owner has built, inside his shop, a second season. He invites you in from the brutal heat and hands you the one thing the sun has denied you all day: a reason to be cold. To endure it is to be tempered. You walk in soft and sweating. You walk out sharp and clear, a slightly stronger person than you were.

So I did not complain. I removed my outer layer and offered it to the woman at the next table, who was hugging herself. She said, "Oh, no, I'm fine, thank you." She was not fine. Her lips were blue. But she, too, understood the training. She would not break first. I respected her deeply.

The owner asked if everything was okay.

"It is perfect," I said, through my teeth, which were chattering. "Thank you for the winter."

He said, "...I can turn the AC down if you want?"

I told him no. A man does not ask the mountain to be shorter.

I stayed two hours. I ordered a hot coffee to survive. Then a second one, to hold. By the end I could no longer feel my hands, but my spirit had never been clearer.

So now, on the hottest days, I seek out the coldest rooms. I sit. I shiver. I sharpen.

And when I finally step back out into the summer heat, and it wraps around me like a warm bath, I feel it.

Reborn.

A man who has survived the winter, in August, indoors, for the price of a sandwich.

[Dylan Bischoff @BischoffDylan]

@bryan_johnson It comes naturally to the righteous. Keep up the work!

[Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson]

This is it.
Everything learned spending millions on longevity.

From: Your Immortal Unc and Auntie.
To: Our Immortal nieces and nephews.

0. Sleep is the world's most powerful drug.
1. Be in your bed for 8 hours
2. Same bedtime every night, any time before midnight
3. Don’t eat right before bed
4. Calm foods for dinner
5. No screens 1 hour before bed
6. Avoid added sugar (be aware it’s in everything)
7. Avoid all things in an American convenience store
8. Avoid fried foods
9. Shoes off at the door
10. Eat whole foods, particularly veggies fruits nuts legumes berries
11. Walk a little after meals or air squats
12. Get your heart rate high routinely
13. Lift heavy things
14. Stretch daily
15. Water pik, floss, brush, tongue scrape, morning and night
16. Make an effort to drink water
17. Get sunlight when you wake up (UV is low)
18. Protect skin in midday sun
19. Stand up straight
20. See at least one friend once a week
21. Avoid plastic where you can (in all things)
22. Circulate air in rooms
23. When stressed, breathe, learn to calm your body
24. Go to the dentist
25. Avoid sitting for long times
26. Protect your hearing, the world is too loud
27. Alcohol is bad for you
28. Finish coffee before noon
29. Avoid bright lights after sunset
30. If obese, look into a GLP
31. Sleep in a cold room
32. Texting while driving is dangerous
33. Turn off all notifications
34. Limit social media use
35. Don’t smoke anything
36. If you struggle to sleep, read a physical book before bed
37. 1 hour before bed have a calm wind down routine: bath, read, light walk, listen to music
38. The body is a clock and loves routine. Have a daily morning and evening schedule.
39. Avoid long distance travel where you can
40. Baby steps first: incorporate new things slowly
41. Do less… most things don’t work.

Bonus points if you get your blood checked.

Start here, it will change your life.

[Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson]

🚨 I HAVE NO MICROPLASTICS IN MY BALLS 🚨

This should not be possible.

Studies show that 100% of men have microplastics in their semen. I am the first human ever to show a complete reduction to zero.

This may be a world-first breakthrough in fertility research.

I had 165 microplastic particles in my semen just 18 months ago. Now, I have zero.

Five published studies have measured microplastics in human semen. Two found them in 100% of men. The other three found then in 44 to 76% of men tested, but those used methods that miss the smallest particles and the clear ones. Corrected for that, the real rate is likely 100%. Almost every man alive has plastic in his semen right now. The same applies to testicular tissue, testing 100% positive for microplastics.

Microplastics hurt sperm.

Human studies show the impact of various types of plastic, associated chemicals, and other toxins on male fertility:

+ 60% fewer normal shaped sperm (from PFAS)
+ 5x higher odds of low sperm count (from PTFE)
+ 10% lower sperm concentration (from PTFE)
+ 15% lower swimming ability (from PTFE)
+ 41% lower swimming ability (from PET)
+ 12% lower sperm swimming ability (from BPA)
+ 3x higher odds of low sperm count (from Phthalates)
+ 2x higher odds of poor swimming (from Phthalates)

The effects compound: each extra type of plastic drops sperm swimming ability by about 21%.

This matters even if you’re NOT trying to get pregnant.

Sperm count is one of the cleanest biomarkers of overall health we have. And microplastics don't stop at the testes.

The same particles are showing up everywhere we look. Studies show 4.5x higher rate of heart attack, stroke, and death in people with microplastics in their arterial plaque vs. those without. Microplastics were also found in 100% of human placentas tested.

100% of post-mortem human brains tested positive for microplastics. Brain concentrations rose ~50% between 2016 and 2024, and now sit at roughly 11x the levels found in the liver or kidney.

Where do these come from?
+ PTFE, commonly in non-stick pans
+ PET, water bottles
+ Phthalates, makes plastic soft and bendy
+ BPA, can linings
+ PFAS, stain-resistant fabrics & food packaging

Inside the body, plastic causes a kind of cellular rust. It triggers inflammation in the testicles, kills the cells that make sperm and drops testosterone. It's been confirmed across 39 animal and cell studies, then in human data.

MY PROTOCOL:

Note, what I did is n=1, not a controlled trial, I cannot prove cause.

1. Sauna (dry). My toxin blood panel confirms sauna clears plastic related chemicals: BPA, phthalates, PFAS, flame retardants, pesticides. The plastic particles themselves are too big to sweat out directly. Heat may activate other clearance routes: bile flow through the liver, the cell's internal cleanup system, and the gut barrier. Humans have almost no enzymes that can break plastic apart, so the body has to physically push it out.

2. Reverse osmosis water filter. Drinking water is likely a major source of microplastic getting into your body. A reverse osmosis filter pushes water through a very tight membrane and strains the particles out. I filter everything I drink.

3. Trying to rid my environment of the big plastic items: cutting boards, cups, plates, food storage containers, non-stick pans, cling wrap, tea bags, water bottles, kitchen utensils, kettles, and synthetic clothing. Note, as hard as I try, I'm always finding new plastic things in my life. This can be all-consuming thing so try to just knock out the big ones.

I did all three interventions at the same time. I cannot say which one did the most work. What I can say is this: going from 165 to zero in 18 months is possible.

Results:
Nov 2024: 165 particles/mL
Jul 2025: 20 particles/mL
Apr 2026: 0 particles/mL

The 18 month window also captures roughly 7 full spermatogenesis cycles.

[US Department of the Interior @Interior]

As part of preparations for America’s 250th anniversary, Interior is reviewing wildlife nomenclature to better reflect the nation’s history and character.

Following this review, the raccoon (Procyon lotor) will be renamed the Liberty Bandit, effective April 1, 2026.

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

I've just watched a video from some unwashed left wing influencer claiming that Restore Britain wants to remove a million people over a period of five years.

I want to make our response really clear, because this is just blatant misinformation.

We'll deport far more than that.

[Dylan Bischoff @BischoffDylan]

Thank you, I will reengage those episodes for my answer.

[Dylan Bischoff @BischoffDylan]

@CoreyJMahler - I have been listening to Stone Choir, and I genuinely enjoy your work. It’s intelligent, extremely insightful, and spurs momentum.
I’ve shared your work with several of my friends.
I have one question: why are you not a traditional Catholic or Orthodox?

[Lain on the Blockchain @CryptoCyberia]

This Japanese Parliament cigarettes ad from the 90s featuring Charlie Sheen singlehandedly undoes decades of anti-smoking ads.

[Furkan Gözükara @FurkanGozukara]

You can actually pinpoint the exact second the State Department spokesperson’s soul leaves his body. Absolute deer-in-the-headlights moment when asked why Israel’s 200 unacknowledged nukes don’t violate US foreign aid laws.

[Dylan Bischoff @BischoffDylan]

@forestmanjohn I’d love to help on this project.. so many other things can be converted to full metal construction.

[Dylan Bischoff @BischoffDylan]

@WSJ Hey dumbo, my rotussy is NONE of your business

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

For those unaware, SpaceX has already shifted focus to building a self-growing city on the Moon, as we can potentially achieve that in less than 10 years, whereas Mars would take 20+ years.

The mission of SpaceX remains the same: extend consciousness and life as we know it to the stars.

It is only possible to travel to Mars when the planets align every 26 months (six month trip time), whereas we can launch to the Moon every 10 days (2 day trip time). This means we can iterate much faster to complete a Moon city than a Mars city.

That said, SpaceX will also strive to build a Mars city and begin doing so in about 5 to 7 years, but the overriding priority is securing the future of civilization and the Moon is faster.

[Dylan Bischoff @BischoffDylan]

@Amtrak RAHHHH

[Lord Bebo @MyLordBebo]

🇺🇸 Republican, Thomas Massie, who opposes Trump's policies, was asked to switch to Democrats:

"I vote with Republicans 91% of the time. And the other 9% is when Republicans start defending pedophiles, starting new wars, and bankrupting our country."

[Ashton Forbes @AshtonForbes]

The technology Lockheed Martin has developed is mind blowing. It wouldn't surprise me if they have atomic level 3D printers.

Their senior fellow engineers talk about it in low quality zoom calls, it's hilarious.

The defense contractors have been developing next generation electromagnetic weapons by unifying relativity and quantum mechanics.

Charles Chase told me he believes there's something like an Aether and it has a memory.

He knows there's an extra dimension that's why he's talking about the Aharonov-Bohm effect.

Everything in Star Trek is real, we're just a little too soon.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Troubling

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

My CISO called me at 3 AM last Tuesday.

"We caught someone."

I asked, "Caught them doing what?"

He said, "Typing."

Let me explain.

We have an employee in IT. Great worker. Always online. Never complained. Perfect Slack etiquette.

One problem.

His keystrokes were arriving 110 milliseconds late.

One hundred and ten milliseconds.

That's 0.11 seconds.

The average American remote worker has 20-40ms of latency.

This guy? 110ms. Every. Single. Keystroke.

My security team ran the numbers.

That latency doesn't come from a bad router in Ohio.

That latency comes from Pyongyang.

Our "Senior DevOps Engineer" was a North Korean operative.

Running his work laptop through a laptop farm.

In America.

While he worked from a government building.

In North Korea.

He passed the interview. He passed the background check. He passed the vibe check.

He did not pass the speed of light.

Here's what people don't understand about physics:

Light travels 186,000 miles per second.

But it still has to go through China.

And China adds latency.

Since April, Amazon has caught 1,800 of these attempts.

Eighteen hundred.

I called an emergency meeting with my board.

I said, "We need to implement Keystroke Velocity Auditing across all remote employees."

They said, "That sounds invasive."

I said, "You know what else is invasive? The Democratic People's Republic of Korea in your Jira tickets."

They approved the budget.

We now monitor keystroke timing to the microsecond.

If your latency exceeds 60ms, you get a call from HR.

If it exceeds 100ms, you get a call from the FBI.

We've already flagged 47 employees.

Turns out 44 of them just have bad Wi-Fi.

3 of them are "still under investigation."

The lesson?

You can fake a resume.

You can fake a background check.

You can fake an American accent on Zoom.

But you cannot fake the speed of light.

Physics is the ultimate background check.

Hire accordingly.

[THE ORTHOCHAT @THEORTHOCHAT]

Boxer walks out to the ring with Psalm 135 chanted by the monks of Mount Athos playing through the whole stadium…

and, of course, he won☦️🤲🏽