nanny911

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

if a strange man at the bp asks you if you got a man, you ask him if hes got gas money. you’re welcome

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

I might be wrong for saying this but ugly bitches RUIN my eyebrows when they tint them

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

Ughhhh I’ve only been dating this guy for 30 seconds and I want to dump him I’m meant to be young, single, wild and freee

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

So it’s 8 in the morning, Leah and I briefly talk about how much fun we’re having and decide to stay another night then 5 minutes later see a gross bug and book a nice hotel then agree to never go anywhere ever again.

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

On my way to the gorge in heatless curlers to rave in a cave. Is this something I necessarily wanna do? No. But I’ll have a great blow out upon arrival

[Mira Gonzalez @miragonz]

every horror movie is about a woman that is so horny she makes everyone scared

[miri @eggoslug]

Why are you 29 and in a situationship. You’re going to die soon

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

Ohhhh how things change. Today was supposed to be my rehearsal dinner but instead I’m waiting for my new bf to land in Indy after flying across the country all morning just to keep me entertained this weekend.

[ariana grindcore @jackiecore666]

found a guy on tiktok named The Stoned Dentist who takes unfathomably large dab rips and then performs root canals

[° ʚ 𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐚 ɞ ° @liamarshallxo]

i left your father cuz he wasn't posting me on instagram

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

My arm finally slipped out of socked for the last time, now I’m in a sling all summer before surgery and I’m in the middle of moving :)

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

Met the loml in the airport a few weeks ago and a man has never tried locked in down so fast 👀

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

Going to the race for the first time ever so naturally I bought an american flag bikini top

[droodle @droodbug]

you haven’t done drugs by yourself in your room and it shows

[𝓟𝓐𝓝𝓐®️ @Big_stepper18]

the best part of smoking weed is when you get schizophrenia

[Yesterday i was DL @MiintCondition]

Mind you this was her last $17

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

Been having a lot of panic attacks lately hbu?

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

Mfkin annoying blogger tiktok moms consistently ruining all my favorite parks. Bring back gatekeeping!!!

[nanny911 @biscuits444]

My tombstone will probably say something like “she was kinda off putting”

[jo. @sereneObscurity]

i am what i am because of pirated media.

[pigeon @pigeonisperfect]

coo