BPA

(she/her) a storm in a teacup

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Okay so normally I don’t like posting how crazy I am but for YEARS my psychiatrist has believed I am imagining an owl in my backyard….

BITCH.

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Rory threw a level 10 tantrum today because we wouldn’t let him hang out in the pantry.

[BPA @bishprincessali]

@jay_munyy YAYYYYY

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Petty things I’ve done when my husband annoys me: a list.
-made his turkey sandwich with two heels
-got into his side of the bed and ate 10 Ritz
-got into his car, adjusted his seat, then saved it under his setting (1) and moved it to my setting (2)

[BPA @bishprincessali]

An asshole and an idiot?? lol no girl, pick one. Its 2025, you can’t be both

[BPA @bishprincessali]

14 minutes so like an hour left?

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Ok but where did Kendrick get his jeans? I want them.

[BPA @bishprincessali]

“I’ve read 15 books this year”
“Miss, it’s January”

[BPA @bishprincessali]

@jay_munyy DROP THE DETAILS BBY

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Sometimes my baby and I have dance parties in his room where put on 90s gangsta rap and clean. He’s always fucking stoked and I cannot explain how it heals my soul.

[BPA @bishprincessali]

As is customary, I have put off everything I meant to do over break and now have a huge case of the Sunday scaries

[BPA @bishprincessali]

and sometimes you wake back up and eat 3 whole plates of mashed potatoes and gravy.

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Sometimes you’re teething and it’s Christmas and you get a popsicle and Motrin for dinner

[BPA @bishprincessali]

I call my toddler Bub. Short for Beelzebub.

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Thank the lord for Christmas Day nap time

[BPA @bishprincessali]

He 3D printed the gun and the silencer and left Monopoly money at the scene. I mean… the artistry.

[m @msnetik]

I did know Luigi.. that is, our paths did cross.. at school….

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Student speaking in the Jigsaw voice at 9 am this morning: do you pray to the lord?
Me *without turning around or reacting in any way*: it’s impolite to ask teachers about religion or politics.

[BPA @bishprincessali]

Kid: Miss koleburg im emailing you to ask how i improve my grade
Me: Please complete your missing work. You are missing 14 out of 15 assignments for this quarter. I will accept any of them.
Kid: we have assignments?

[BPA @bishprincessali]

AI tattoos???? No

[BPA @bishprincessali]

How I feel every time I eat out: