Theophilus Bittok

[Theophilus Bittok @BittokT]

View my verified achievement from @learningatcisco. https://t.co/JZUIyKFGSM

[Theophilus Bittok @BittokT]

@YayaToure @SKSlovan All the best of luck Yaya

[Theophilus Bittok @BittokT]

@Arap_Turitik Chinese domination

[Theophilus Bittok @BittokT]

Check out the latest article in my newsletter: SR-MPLS https://t.co/JtrGI2s8y1 via @LinkedIn

[Bambulu @Bqmbulu]

My Top Recommendations (in no particular order)

Alexander the Great
Julius Caesar
Napoleon
Hannibal
Sun Tzu
Ghenghis Khan
Subutai
Henry V
Kublai Khan
George S. Patton
George Washington
Collin Powell
Pershing
Allenby
Hindenburg
MacAurthur
Montgomery
Richard the Lionheart
Saladin
El Cid
Robert the Bruce etc etc

Study at least three of your choice (that is, if you can't study all)

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

When I joined our team, we had just had a minor data incident.

I found out the loser IT guy who was here before me had set the password to our critical infrastructure to just "password."

Unbelievable. No professionalism. No standards.

I immediately changed it to "Password1!"

We haven't had a data breach since.

You have to be proactive about security, people. Just a few simple tweaks can save a billion-dollar business.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Spent two days in the woods this weekend. No service.

Came back this morning to find out the entire office Wi-Fi went down Saturday afternoon.

Everyone worked from home the rest of the weekend.

My manager called me in today.

"We've been talking. Maybe we don't need someone monitoring the network full-time if it runs fine without intervention."

I could feel my job disappearing.

Then I said, "Actually, I've been meaning to tell you - I implemented an automated failover system last year that kicks in when I'm unavailable. That's why it recovered so smoothly."

Complete lie. The router overheated and auto-rebooted itself after cooling down overnight. Happens every few months.

Manager paused. "So you built redundancy into your own role?"

"Exactly. Takes about 10 hours a week to maintain."

Got a $28K raise for "forward-thinking infrastructure design."

The woods teach you that survival is about adaptation.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Intern asked me yesterday: "How do you always know what to do?"

I looked him dead in the eye.

"I don't. I just know how to look like I do."

He laughed. Thought I was joking.

I pulled up my browser history from last Tuesday.

"How to configure VLAN on Cisco switch"
"What is VLAN"
"Cisco switch won't save config"
"Cisco switch blinking orange meaning"

Showed him a ticket from that same day where I "expertly resolved a critical network segmentation issue."

It was the same switch.

His face went pale.

"So you just... Google everything?"

"Not everything. Sometimes I ask ChatGPT."

He asked what he should focus on learning.

"Learn to sound confident when you have no idea what you're doing. The technical skills will follow."

He starts his senior role next month. I'm training him well.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Everyone hates the pop-up: “Your computer needs to restart to install updates.”

It interrupts workflow. It breaks focus.

So I disabled the notifications.

Now, your computer just restarts randomly.

Maybe during a client call. Maybe while you're saving a deck. Maybe right now.

It adds an element of thrill to the workday.

It teaches you to save your work every 8 seconds.

It teaches you to live in the moment.

Because in IT, like in life, tomorrow is never promised.

Update and shut down.

[Jeremy Doku @JeremyDoku]

May you be Glorified Jesus ❤️🙌🏾✝️

[Jeremy Doku @JeremyDoku]

So grateful for moment like this 🏆

I thank you Jesus, for the opportunities and talent you’ve given me and for the bringing the increase yesterday 🙌🏾🙏🏾❤️

I dedicate this trophy to you and pray that you may be glorified ❤️🙌🏾🙏🏾

The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord.”
Proverbs 21:31 NLT

[Theophilus Bittok @BittokT]

@LegacySiu Ferran Torres

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Got to work and there's a massive bouquet of flowers on my desk.

For a second I thought my wife sent them as a thank you for Saturday night.

Then I read the card: "Thank you for your leadership and partnership. - The Marketing Team"

This is weird. Marketing has never sent me flowers. We barely talk to marketing.

I asked my assistant what this is about. She said marketing sent flowers to all the department heads this morning.

I checked with other directors. Everyone got flowers.

Then I found out why: Marketing's budget got cut 40% last week. They're trying to build goodwill before people realize half their projects are getting killed and they're going to need favors.

The flowers cost probably $600 total across all departments.

They're spending money they're about to lose to buy influence they're going to need.

It's actually kind of smart. Cynical, but smart.

My CFO got a bigger bouquet than everyone else. That's strategic too.

I'm keeping the flowers on my desk. When marketing comes asking for "quick IT support" on their dying projects next month, these flowers are my receipt.

Nothing's free. Even flowers have strings attached.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Someone from HR asked me this morning why we can't just "move everything to the cloud" and "get rid of the servers."

I spent 15 minutes explaining the complexities of hybrid infrastructure, compliance requirements, data sovereignty, and the cost implications of cloud migration.

None of that is wrong. But here's what I didn't mention:

If we moved everything to the cloud, my job would get significantly easier. Fewer hardware failures, less maintenance, more automation.

But if my job gets easier, eventually someone's going to wonder why they need to pay me this much.

So I emphasized all the risks.

I talked about vendor lock-in and security concerns.

I made it sound like moving to the cloud would be a massive undertaking that could destabilize the entire company.

She backed off immediately.

Said maybe we should "table that discussion for now."

Perfect.

Look, cloud migration is probably the future. But the future can wait until I've got enough stock options vested that I don't care if they simplify my job.

For now, I'm keeping these servers running and keeping myself indispensable.

[Eric @amerix]

What an embarrassment!

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Leaving work early today.

My manager asked where I'm going.

I said "Got a thing."

He didn't ask what thing. Because "a thing" is universally understood as "none of your business but it's important enough that I'm leaving."

The thing is my couch.

But he doesn't need to know that.

I've trained him over months that Friday afternoons I'm unreliable.

Now when I leave early, he just accepts it.

This is the key: be consistent enough that people stop questioning it.

[Karen Resorcé @hr_unhinged]

An employee brought leftovers for lunch.

Spaghetti in a stained plastic container.

I saw him heating it up.

I asked why he didn't support the local cafeteria ecosystem.

He said he's saving money for a house.

I told him financial independence suggests he doesn't need this job enough.

Hunger makes people work harder.

He said he's actually quite hungry, hence the pasta.

I explained that domestic food smells like home, which distracts from the corporate scentscape.

He asked if leftovers are banned.

I said technically no, but culturally yes.

I also shortened the microwave cord so it doesn't reach the outlet.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Got invited to speak on a "Women in Technology" panel next month.

I'm not a woman. I'm not sure why I got invited.

I replied asking if there was a mix-up. The organizer said no, they want "allies and male leaders who champion diversity."

So basically they want me to show up and say supportive things while women who actually work in tech talk about real issues.

I should decline. This is performative and weird.

But here's what's also true: the panel is at a big industry conference. My CEO will see that I'm speaking. It'll look good on my LinkedIn. And the organizer is a VP at a company we're trying to partner with.

So I'm going to do it.

I'm going to sit on stage, listen more than I talk, and say some version of "We need to do better as an industry and I'm committed to creating opportunities."

It's the corporate equivalent of thoughts and prayers. But it'll photograph well.

I hate that I'm doing this. But I'm doing it anyway.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

My parking spot has been taken three times this week.

It's not a reserved spot officially. But I've parked there every day for six years. It's my spot.
Today someone from the marketing department was in it. Again.

I parked next to them, walked into the office, and immediately sent a building-wide email:
"Reminder: The spots in the west lot closest to the building are designated for IT staff due to equipment transport needs. Please use the main lot for general parking. Thanks for your cooperation."

This is completely made up. There's no such designation. I just invented it.

But I sent it from my IT Director account with an official-sounding tone, so people will assume it's real policy.

Tomorrow morning my spot will be available. Because nobody wants to be the person who violated a policy they just learned about.

Sometimes leadership is just confidently asserting things that aren't true and seeing if anyone challenges you.

Nobody ever challenges you.

[Karen Resorcé @hr_unhinged]

An employee was reported for using the word “just” too often in emails.

The manager said it reduced authority.

The employee said they were just trying to be polite.

I explained that politeness can be misread as uncertainty.

They asked how to sound polite without softening.

I said confidence should carry the tone.

So we updated the email template to remove softening language entirely.

Now everyone sounds confident.

Some people sound upset.

That’s a separate issue.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

My wife just texted me a Zillow listing for a house three blocks from our current one."

Look how much this sold for. We could get way more for ours."

This is how it starts. If I engage with this message at all, by tonight we're discussing staging, by Wednesday she's interviewing realtors, and by next month I'm spending my weekends at open houses.

So I replied: "Wow, crazy market."

That's it. No opinion. No engagement. Just acknowledgment that I received the information.

She sent three more listings. I'm not opening them until tonight.

By then she'll either be over it or fully committed. If she's over it, the conversation dies. If she's committed, at least I bought myself 8 hours.

The key to a long marriage is knowing when to delay conversations until the initial enthusiasm fades.

Also, I really don't want to move. Our house is 12 minutes from the office. The new place is 28 minutes.

That's 32 minutes a day I'd lose. 160 minutes a week. That's basically a part-time job of just driving.

I'd rather invest that time in leaving work early.