Carmen

Press the button. Carmen has many buttons. Wonky brain that has no off/on button.

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

@UberUKI_Support *driver not drier *live not lie

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

@UberUKI_Support Help - I left my mobile in the Uber car! I can't sign in on your log in page. The drier didn't drop me at home so they don't know where I lie nor how to contact me!

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

@Anthropologie Hi, what are your opening hours Christmas Eve in your Richmond store?

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

Oh and it’s in my hair.

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

Great. Acid Reflux vomiting. Didn’t make it to the bathroom. It’s all over my bed linen. FFS.

[Judd Legum @JuddLegum]

UPDATE: Tucker is hemorrhaging advertisers after repeating his claim that immigrants make America "dirtier"

NINE advertisers dumped Tucker since last night's show

@ZenniOpt

@IHOP

@United Explorer credit card

@scottevest

@justformen

@LandRover

@Voya

@Ancestry

@Minted

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

@Dalybreadlondon Police dog found a knife. Whether it was actually related to the incident is unclear. Good advice for your children x

[Mikey Smith @mikeysmith]

Remain unconvinced until we’ve got CJ’s opinion. Can @AllisonBJanney weigh in please? https://t.co/nAIn8EldsY

[Tom Newton Dunn @tnewtondunn]

An hour and a half in, and StupidWoman-gate reaches Hollywood...

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

Well. Yes. Also true. But you can be angry/upset by more than 1 thing.

[Philip Sim @BBCPhilipSim]

MPs currently appear to be more exercised about this business than they are about, you know, Brexit

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

Yes. And though I hate eveishe stands for, she was right to say this to and about Bercow.

[Joe Pike @joepike]

VIDEO: Ooft. Burn of the year? 🔥🔥🔥

@andrealeadsom makes a point of order on Corbyn's 'stupid woman' comment.

Just look at the reaction from @drcarolinej. 😮

#PMQs

[stellacreasy @stellacreasy]

This is not ok. PMQs is a hotbed of emotions but I hope that Jeremy will accept this kind of behaviour isn’t his normal good nature or what we expect of progressive men #21stcenturycalling

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

Last therapy session of 2018. Re-start second week of Jan. Not at all terrifying to be caught in no mans land.

[Peter Stefanovic @PeterStefanovi2]

Does it sound right to the country that Worcestershire County Council has to close four children's homes next year to help save £1 million whilst Theresa May Magic’s up £billions to plan for the madness of a no deal Brexit? https://t.co/m3Oz22rBhG

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

Yep. Every time I try to wrap something. Every. Time.

[Andrew Trimble @andrew_trimble]

Present wrapping pitfalls:

1) Losing the end of the sellotape

2) Finding the end but picking it the wrong direction for five minutes

4) Trying to do the slidey thing with the scissors and tearing the paper.

5) The paper doesn’t quite meet and you have to create a ‘patch’.

[Carmen @blackbuttongirl]

@MummyBarrow Bullshit! You’ve already done more than I could ever dream of achieving. Give yourself a break. Please 😘

[Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain]

They tried, but nobody listened.

[Graeme Cleland @gracle]

BREAKING: Jeremy Corbyn set to table no confidence vote against Jose Mourinho.

[James Melville 🚜 @JamesMelville]

Theresa May has blocked:
▪️Legal documentation on her Brexit deal
▪️Cabinet vote on her deal ▪️Parliamentary vote on her deal
▪️People’s vote on her deal ▪️Parliamentary vote of no confidence on her
She’s not acting in the national interest. She’s acting in her own interests.