Blake Everhart

be the person your dog thinks you are

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

When your parking ticket says pay on floor 2 but you parked on floor “yellow” 🙃

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Pro tip if you cough incessantly on the shuttle no one will sit by you and you can put your bag on the seat 😎

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

No apple please don’t auto update my iPhone 6 can’t handle it

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

If you cause an accident on 28 because you decided to merge at the last second you should be executed by guillotine in the center of market square.

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

My husband would leave me for Jason statham

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Broke a wine glass right after I washed it : (

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Marty fed the deer and now a herd of them hang out in my yard scaring my dogs can anyone with a hunting license solve my problem

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

How am I spending my day off? On the couch in pjs screwing up Marty’s YouTube algorithm with john mayer music videos.

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

IF YOU PICK THE TREADMILL NEXT TO ME AND I GET MY SWEAT ON YOU THAT IS YOUR OWN FAULT

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Can’t wait for it to get cold enough for my neighbors to stop being outside

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

@martyy17

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Major Security Crisis: The Rooster That’s Loose In The White House Is No Longer Afraid Of The Jack-O’-Lantern President Trump Put Outside The Oval Office To Scare It Away https://t.co/71TsoYvC6Y

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Why turn on something new when I could watch inglourious basterds for the 63rd time

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

New PR brought to you by @getgo tots and burritos #cleaneating #fueledbyramen

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Digging through my car, at the gym, panicked that I forgot my keys at my house, keys literally between my teeth, is when I’m my best self.

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

I WANT SKIMS RESTOCK NOW

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

I love when porn insta accounts DM me to subscribe like girl I am not your target audience.

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Friendship park or Friendship median

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

@megs25pgh 😂😂😂

[UnDo 512 @undo512]

men be like i’m bilingual.. i speak english and tiny little bitch baby

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

Microsoft is def. getting sued for the Mackenzie Book commercial

[Blake Everhart @blakeandyellow]

I’ve read a million articles about high performance running clothes and I’ve almost bought them a bunch of times but somehow the memory of a man in an astronaut costume running the marathon always comes back to me.