Ryan Blaeser

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[BakerMuse @MuseBaker]

The New York Jets have threatened to play football soon

[MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch]

PabloReports: How do House Republicans make the case that you're fighting for affordability when you go back to your districts?

Nehls: Affordability? What are you talking about? I'm gonna go there tomorrow. I'm gonna get me a couple of big lobster tails. I'm gonna get me some nice rib eyes.

Reporter: Do you think the 60% of Americans living paycheck to paycheck can afford lobster tails and rib eyes and all of that?

Nehls: Maybe not. Maybe the 60% of Americans don't work as hard as I do.

[Ryan Blaeser @blazer1511]

@IGN

[Whiskey Hotel Alpha Tango @Chadonlychad]

@TheRickWilson @marynlm 40 years of addiction.
Shooting and snorting heroin.
Snorting cocaine off toilet seats.
Eating every road-kill he came across.
No matter the species.
Collecting and keeping animal remains.
Literal brain worm.
Swimming in every polluted body of water.
That one vaccine though.

[Patrick Skinner @SkinnerPm]

Yes, exactly, because the first thing a cop does when they arrest a person on super-serious totally-legitimate definitely-not-made-up charges is to investigate that person’s contributions to political campaigns, and then to tell the press.

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

A tarp over the Kennedy Center and a fence around the Reflecting Pool.
All to soothe the wounded ego of a petulant, perpetual loser.

[Lisan Al Gaib @Directorgawd]

@atrupar Asking who the reporter is working for before deciding to answer is such a weird thing for a president to do. I remember when the president actually was a classy individual who was a representative of all Americans. Not this racist, sexist, orange idiot

[TMZ @TMZ]

TMZ DC's @jacob_wass went to the Parks Department looking for evidence of the "350-foot slit" President Trump claimed existed, but it appears to be BS 🤔

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

That’s weird….thought you can’t damage his powerful pool liner with a knife

[Ryan Blaeser @blazer1511]

@thepodmortem @bloodandsmoke Happy birthday!

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

FTP: LAPD killed her dog. He was wearing his Knicks jersey.
His name was Jameson. A golden doodle. One of the sweetest, most gentle breeds alive.
A neighbor called a noise complaint. That's it.
20+ officers showed up. Then a helicopter. For a noise complaint in an apartment complex.
And they shot Jameson dead. In front of his owner. In front of her child.
No warning. No de-escalation. Nothing.
The media is barely covering this. No headlines. No outrage.
Like it never happened.
If this was your dog... your child watching... how would you feel?
Jameson deserved better. That little boy deserved better. His mama deserved better.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

So let me get this straight…

We’re now being told JD Vance used the Situation Room to lead “war room” meetings about the Epstein fallout.

Allegations of Trump sexually abusing minors?

I thought the Situation Room was for actual wars.

Trump keeps telling everyone to move on while the Epstein story keeps getting bigger and closer to home.

Then BOOM.

We’re in a war with Iran.

A war nobody voted for, nobody wanted, and few can clearly explain.

Straits of Hormuz closed.
Gas prices skyrocket.
The entire news cycle changed overnight.

Funny how quickly Epstein disappeared from the headlines.

You can outrun a news cycle.

The print and legacy news media is a joke.

You can’t outrun Epstein forever.

WE are watching.
WE are not stupid.
WE are united in the Tired of the Bullshit party.

[bug girl @buggirl]

in nature if a monkey hoarded 1 trillion bananas the other monkeys would beat that monkey to death and take his bananas

[Ryan Blaeser @blazer1511]

@sjessup1105 @AaronNagler

[SassyBabyBoomer @SassyBabyBoomer]

Rape Van Winkle’s legacy will be of the petulant toddler sleeping!

[Ryan Blaeser @blazer1511]

@columnistmike @JoeAtWork87 @mattschneidman

[JDRandom - RandomWhiteGuy @TheReelRandom]

I’ll never stop reposting this.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.