eed ohnson

cod mangler dog tangler

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

@oldking420 My dad wears this glasses

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Jacque Enough

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Shall I compare thee to a kiss from a rose on the grey

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Hunter/Garcia, Simon/Garfunkel, Lennon/Chapman, Morrissey/Marr

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

@hopepm_ Add -areeno to all of them

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Casing my own house for the last two years

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

🎶they got a name for the winners of this world, hey I want a name when I lose, they call Alabama the crimson tide, call me dr. poo🎶

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Eating asparagus, washing it down with marshmallows

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

@iegates @spritebody If it isn’t students vs teachers, then it’s gotta be teachers vs students

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

@iegates @spritebody Oh you gotta know we’re pulling these gags at ‘Top’ university

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

@iegates @spritebody I’m taking their lead, calling an impromptu last class session to roast my students, then finish with “I’m sorry if this hurts but it’s my job”

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Jesus was “resurrected” but all that seemed to mean is that you had to buy his book to hear him speak

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

@_witch_valley I get the job because I introduce myself as Krist

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Yes or no

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Just like how if ur names smith ur ancestors worked in a smithy, my last names Johnson cuz my ancestors worked in a dick sucking factory

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Can you imagine if the nazis had picked a pizza slice as their symbol

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Dr moriarty dr mengele dr Phil

[eed ohnson @BleedEJohnson]

Did Jesus have the Oedipus complex