Alex Rojas Beltran

most likely to say: and that's the tea sis🎈💖 firm believer that blue M&ms taste better

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

Flamin' hot bags of shit

[Eli Vazquez @itselivazquez]

What would you name this chapter in your life?

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

“Are you pregnant”
“No im Muslim”
“Omg that wasn’t a phase?!”

😂😂

I swear my family has no chill

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

*watching the fight and they pan the camera to an actor I find attractive*

Me: MY BABY DADDYYY YASSS

My Husband: I’m LITERALLY your baby daddy you goofy ass 😂😂

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

“I miss what we could’ve been” HEAD ASS. Boy go sit your ass down and eat ice cream and cry ab it like a real bitch 😂

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

Oh nothing just trynna explain to my childless friends why I’m eating my snack wrap under the bed

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

Sorry but as a parent I judge the ever loving fuck out of mothers who constantly have themselves w new stuff or new expenses or lashes/nails/etc and ya kids got on 2nd hand clothes you were up on the internet begging for, and the only outing they know is the park. Do better!

[halo 𐙚 @pIain_tofu]

no one prepared me for the fact that when you have a 9-5 you can't like. go to the dentist or the doctor or anything anymore. because you work. and when you don't work they're closed

[Brother @brother__mind]

@dumbtwt7 life is change, you change, if you change in a different direction than someone else then you’ll walk on different paths which is ok,

you’ll find new cool people on your path so go for it, be honest with yourself.

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

Thinking ab how if I woke up my husband rn and asked him to make me a sandwich how he would bitch and moan but I would have a banging ass sandwich rn

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

I’m sorry but I could never argue w a girl named Alabama. First joke out my mouth would be about brother cousins

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

I love my husband. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

Louisiana sucks bc why don’t we have cookout.

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

How tf you got a sunburn in the wintertime. Girl BYE

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

A mf CHICKEN BONE?!

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

My baby: *wants her binky*
Also my baby:*violently and dramatically rips it out of her mouth and throws it with every chance the gets*

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

Hear me out. A @ThatMexicanOT_ and @SUICIDEBOYS track would litcherallyy go so dumb

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

@crackgalore Is this “soy fan de su relación” for the Grande Stans?

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

So scared that I been carrying this baby for almost 9 months and she has a chance to come out looking just like her pappy 🥲. I just thought about it and I REALLY want her to at least look like she belongs to me a lil bit.

[Alex Rojas Beltran @blurryface_al]

I just wanna talk to the screen writers of S4 of TUA because WTF was the absolute pig vomit that I just watched ??