Brendan Maul

He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at -fortune cookie 2k16

[Tami Cru @TamiCru]

genie: please no
millipede: more legs

[ʞɔiwbɿɒH ꙅiɿʜƆ @hardwick]

Goodnight, @midnight! I love you. #AtMidnightIn5Words

[dylan paris @poppop_paris]

i miss billy mays :(

[Brendan Maul @bmaul42]

I've come to terms with the fact that my crowning achievement is breaking the graph in wii tennis. Strangely, I've never been more proud.

[Brendan Maul @bmaul42]

@StudgeMuffin

[Brendan Maul @bmaul42]

Spring break does vary
Y'all on the beach quite merry
Mad town alone is scary 😱
#WorldPoetryDay

[Rick and Morty @RickandMorty]

Daylight savings only happens in crappy dimensions that don't have their shit together.

[Brendan Maul @bmaul42]

.@babydeermaul Update: 03/11/17 @babydeermaul is now in college and is still incapable of tying his shoes. The future looks bleak, but I maintain hope.

[Brian @BrianCrocker8]

@Brett_Mower Unfollowed.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Cash. He's officially given pup on today. 12/10 frighteningly relatable

[dylan paris @poppop_paris]

PETAphile.

[Nick Offerman @Nick_Offerman]

Dear America,
Passions will run high 2nite
Please take the high road & embrace ur fellow citizens no matter the outcome🇺🇸
#AllInThisTogether

[Dog Solution @DogSolutions]

today only: share unlimited dog. give it all. Dog Deserved of Every.

[Chris Pratt @prattprattpratt]

You tell that sweet kiddo STARLORD has his back! God bless you guys. https://t.co/ZqPXndVDZw

[Brendan Maul @bmaul42]

@Brett_Mower @THE_matthanson and the only reason Moses parted the Red Sea was because Apple maps said he couldn't drive through the ocean

[Nick Offerman @Nick_Offerman]

You do honor to our house. https://t.co/ad11xvB2ia

[Brendan Maul @bmaul42]

@BengtsonBailey this changes... everything.

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

it ok everybirdy. I will be your Captan Amerca

[Brendan Maul @bmaul42]

@tarrinhalvorson I'm so jelly