Bob

[Bob @bob_payne]

@GBNEWS He should get a medal. Not just the usual sort either. The kind of medal appreciated at the cellular level.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@DanielaIbarraTV In the same way sucking shit through a straw is soooo good. If you are late to the game with that one also then you should try it.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@2026_worldcup_ @SkySportsNews Dude, despite those glasses you ain’t seeing straight.

[Bob @bob_payne]

I just entered @AutoTrader_UK’s monthly️ #ElectricCarGiveaway & you can too! This month’s prize is a Honda E worth over £36k! It’s free to enter & you have until 30th December. All information (including Ts&Cs) can be found here: https://t.co/Owg2HJ9D0L

[Bob @bob_payne]

@piersmorgan You would suck a fart out of Ronaldo’s arse and tweet it’s the best tasting thing ever. It’s becoming embarrassing.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@mrdanwalker Not me. He waits for contact and then hits the ground. He’s made a career out of it. It’s embarrassing to watch. So many top footballers do it and achieve hero status. It’s a joke.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@piersmorgan @Cristiano Dude, it’s becoming embarrassing. Just saying.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@TheKoreyT @3YearLetterman @elonmusk I’m glad you ended your tweet with America. Nobody would have guessed you meant America otherwise. Thanks

[Bob @bob_payne]

@rickygervais @Panko3490 Surely that’s I con. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Bob @bob_payne]

@BBCBreaking Bring back Boris!

[Bob @bob_payne]

@bbc fuck off. Why are you making out our army was wrong. This is simply bad reporting. Again, fuck off!

[Bob @bob_payne]

@RealHughJackman Hugh Jackman is an elf.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@GMB Somebody find me a bullet! Or two.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@jasoniley Hi Jason. Can I please ask that you look into your customer service @SonyUK It’s shocking how bad it is. I have to say I’m convinced there is an internal policy that all warranty claims are dismissed as damaged goods by the claimant.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@whathifi @SonyUK Probably a great TV. Until it goes wrong and then customer services will dodge any issues and say you can’t make a warranty claim. Utter useless shite. Avoid

[Bob @bob_payne]

@SonyUK Do you have a policy whereby it’s ok to just decline warranty claims as damage. It’s great to offer a 5 year warranty but my TV went pop after 5 months and apparently I damaged it while upstairs in a different room. Plus your customer service is shite. Simply shite.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@BBCBreakfast So Boris raised a glass at the end of the day to say farewell to a colleague. Big deal. I’m sure it’s not just me that thinks move on already.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@HeinzUK Quick question. Why don't your cans stack properly? I know there are more pressing things going on right now but I just pulled a can of beans from the cupboard and I lost at Heinz Jenga. Thankfully non-Heinz cans came to the rescue and prevented complete carnage.

[Bob @bob_payne]

@ESPNF1 Is Laureus French for bullshit?

[Bob @bob_payne]

@GMB WARNING: This egg wasn’t laid by a giant chocolate Easter chicken. It may contain nuts. NOTE: No children were harmed during the making of this egg. It may however harm the fat ones if you eat three a day until next Easter.