Bobbi Bloo

Comforting mediocrity

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Reasons to hire me:

1. I can correct your English
2. I cost lesser than a dude

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

This whole time I thought the song was called Marianna Cross

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Mom: my friend's son is getting married soon, when are you-

Me: there's this guy, my age, killed his entire family cos he got caught lying and then he chopped them up and threw them into-

Ext. Mom

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

@aryesis Some mother of a sec sch kid... Tbh I get this on a weekly basis now ideky

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Ooof first "where are you from" for the year. At least learn my name first...

Also I think I might have said "I'm from here"

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

I'm smelling burnt toast,
but on a bus,
on a rainy morning...

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

So the other day I was talking nonsense to this elderly lady, and after like 15 mins

Aunty: You no need to go back to work ah"

Me: *Ded laughing*
NOPE
*More laughing*

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Having mild fever is the portable aircon I always wished for ... The other solution I thought of was to be constantly haunted by some ghost.
#greensolutions

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Manager: I think it's quite obvious, we don't need to tell people to plaster their open wounds right?
Me: Oh... (Gestures to both thumbs bleeding out)
Manager: How...
Me: (Gestures to wound on leg)
Manager: What is wrong with young ppl nowadays?? Now we must add one extra slide

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Lol smiling through persistent weird comments on howidontlooksingaporean once again, all while holding this old uncle's credit card and phone cos he doesn't know how to do online stuff.

The things I could have done...

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

@aryesis Hahahaha

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Last wk, running into work late with 2 hrs of sleep
Me: Morning!
Security guard: Are you baba?
Me: Huh ... I'm Joanna
Random staff: No, he's asking if you're baba
Me: Um...
Security guard: baba like the race
Me: Too early for this...

Why do I get this nonsense everywhere...

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

@aryesis Tasted like face

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Sometimes in life you'll spill some toner into your coffee. At times like these, you just gotta stir it in and continue sippin
#inspirationMonday

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

My cousin telling me that I scarred him for making him watch Hot Fuzz. Now the poor boi is memorising the stations on the SMRT map ... as a hobby

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Thank you, caffeine, for making me go from gonna fall flat on my face sleepy to just normal sleepy.
But I'm not gonna thank you for the poopy side effects.

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

On a f'in hot Grab dying of car sickness and taytay comes on. ZERO STARS.

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

@eetel Faster go buy that land

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

"because my husband is white...", Never heard this phrase more in my life.

Like ok, we get it, your husband is a ghost. Get over it or find yourself a new one.

[Bobbi Bloo @bobblobbog]

Someone pls ban Lazada from making anymore jingles