Bob Turano

Actor. Broadway, Film, TV. I'm a legend in my own apartment.

[Yasmina @yasminalombaert]

Brilliant!

“Trump, the peacemaker.” - Jonathan Pie

“Back to you, Sophie.
Thank you. It's interesting, isn't it, that Trump signed this deal in Versailles, you know, the location of another famous humiliating, total capitulation. But you know, of course, Trump will spin this as a massive success because he's got form in declaring he's won when clearly he hasn't.

But this war was a success in the same way that paying $14 million to have large chunks of blue paint floating in an algae-infested reflecting pool was money well spent.

The truth is, the United States has rarely looked weaker, and Iran has rarely looked stronger, having now worked out that if anyone doesn't do exactly what they want them to, they'll just close the Strait of Hormuz, and they've got the whole world by the bullbags.

We went from week one: "I will win. Victory will be easier than that time I kidnapped the president of Venezuela."

To week two: "I won."

To week three: "Why aren't you helping me win?"

To week four: "I don't need your help to win, but if you don't help me win, I'm going to destroy NATO."

Week five: "If you don't let me win, I'll annihilate an entire civilization."
It's quite a feat to give the Iranian regime the moral high ground, but luckily, Donald Trump shattered the illusion of American morality a long time ago.

Week six: "We're winning, and to prove it, here's an AI picture of me dressed as Jesus.”

Week seven: "The Pope is a soy-filled, woke, Guardian reader."

Week eight: "I'm getting bored now."

Weeks nine through to 14: "Really bored now, and I've got ballrooms to build and cage fights on the White House lawn to organise."

And four months later, victory!

Thank you very much, where's my peace prize?

And if the rest of the G7 can just clear up the mess and pay the bill, that would be great.

The outcome was always inevitable, but you know, it's been fun to watch.

Most of Trump's posts on Truth Social around the conflict have sounded less like the leader of the free world and more like a 14-year-old boy who's the only one left in the class not to have fingered anyone.

One particular highlight being on Easter Sunday, when Trump went on to Truth Social to write, "Open the fucking strait, you crazy bastards."
Which are the words of a true diplomat with supreme control of the situation.

He then spent some time at the White House Easter Egg Roll, where he gave a speech to a bunch of bemused primary school children about how he's thinking of starting World War III in Iran and Joe Biden's auto-pen.

But this conflict hasn't all been plain sailing. Trump got really angry with the UK, and Spain, and Canada, Australia, Italy—in fact, anyone who raised any objections to this gross example of imperial overreach was branded a coward.

It was as if he felt like we should all be grateful that his latest piece of American expansionism didn't involve making Canada the 51st state or carpet bombing the sleepy village of Greenland.

Perhaps if you want your allies to be good allies, then maybe start treating us like allies. Don't bully your allies, or slam illegal tariffs on your allies, or interfere with their elections by overtly promoting far-right parties across Europe whilst hurling insults at our leaders and threatening to invade Allied sovereign territory, and then demand we come to your aid just because you started a war because one, Benjamin Netanyahu told you to, and two, to distract from the fact that you appear in the Epstein files more times than Jesus is mentioned in the Bible.

But at least someone did all right out of this whole thing. Well, for me, the highlight of the whole shit show was the $2.1 billion in bets placed minutes before presidential announcements about the war in Iran.

1/2

[Joni Askola @joni_askola]

It takes a special kind of strategic incompetence to achieve total military dominance and still pathetically lose a war, yet that is exactly what Donald Trump did in Iran.

The US and Israel ruled the skies, hitting almost every target with virtually zero resistance and few aircraft losses.

Even so, the entire operation failed because Trump is a loudmouth fraud who was never actually ready to commit.

Before the war started, I wrote that Iran's best move would be to just to try to somehow survive the first wave, and call Trump's bluff, and that is exactly what they did. They realized early on that Trump's tough-guy routine was entirely hollow.

Airstrikes alone rarely force an aggressive regime to collapse. Trump ignored every historian and military advisor, charging ahead with Israel without a clear objective.

This was not a typical asymmetric victory like Ukraine's resistance against Russia, where the smaller nation wins by inflicting severe costs on the occupier. Iran's military performance was miserable. Their air defenses were a joke, and their retaliatory strikes achieved almost nothing.

They won the war of wits because survival was existential for them, while for Trump, it was a political stunt. They correctly gambled that the US had no stomach for a prolonged ground invasion.

They just had to absorb the hits and choke off global oil supplies in the Strait of Hormuz. Both sides held back some of their biggest moves, since Washington kept ground troops out of the fight and Tehran chose not to make the Houthis completely seal off Bab el Mandeb.

I have absolutely zero sympathy for the horrific Iranian regime. Trump deeply betrayed the people of Iran by waiting until their domestic uprisings were brutally crushed before launching his badly prepared operation.

He talked big and made sweeping demands, yet everyone knew he lacked the resolve to follow through. The upcoming peace deal will inevitably be far worse than the JCPOA he originally tore down.

This war exposed the hard limits of Trump's posturing. When an adversary stood their ground and called his bluff, the entire might of the US armed forces could not cover up his cowardice and stupidity

[Randy Rainbow @RandyRainbow]

If Donald Jessica gets a sequel, so do I.

Happy 250th, America. 🇺🇸🙄🧠

#VeryStableGenius #PartTwo #parody

[Bob Turano @bobturano]

@937theFan @AustinRBechtold Mullsey in 10 years.

[Bob Turano @bobturano]

@ThePoniExpress Mulsey in 10 years.

[Bob Turano @bobturano]

@burghbulletin From ur text to God’s ears.

[Bob Turano @bobturano]

@937theFan Mulsey in 10 years.

[With Love, JerLisa Nicole @JerLisa_Nicole]

Being an American right now is just waking up and being told how much more money our president is stealing and having to go about our day like normal.

[J-L Cauvin @JLCauvin]

The government now has a $1.8 billion fund to pay friends of Trump who were prosecuted.

You know, like we did after 9/11. Except this is like if we paid Osama Bin Laden's friends after 9/11.

We are a joke. Almost as big a joke as people who "couldnt bring themselves to vote for Hillary/Kamala"

[Johnny AGI @JohnnyAGI]

They loved Marjorie Taylor Greene, now they hate her.

They loved Thomas Massie, now they hate him.

They loved Lauren Boebert, now they hate her.

They made fun of Biden for nodding off ("Sleepy Joe), now they ignore Trump outright falling asleep.

They put "I Did That" Biden stickers on high gas prices, now they ignore gas prices being even higher.

They bragged about Trump being the no wars President, now they support war.

They bashed Biden for sending money to Ukraine, now they ignore Trump sending money to both Ukraine and Israel.

They demanded the Epstein files, now they bash anyone asking for the Epstein files.

To be a MAGA is to be a slave.

Not physically, but mentally.

They stand for nothing.

We're up against people who stand for nothing.

And with the most misplaced confidence you've ever seen, they try to tell us whats-what.

We shouldn't even acknowledge these people.

The Trump supporters that remain are mentally too far gone.

I don't even want to argue with them anymore.

[Richard Haimann 💙🌼✳️ ℹ️ 💦🚰🌊🫧 @ecoengr]

Oh yeah. One of the best yet!

[衝撃bot @minnano_dougaww]

これ作った人、天才すぎて笑う

[Bob Turano @bobturano]

https://t.co/w0ka9Ha6ve

[𝔗𝔯𝔲𝔱𝔥 𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰 @politicsusa46]

I believe that the US has just been schooled in the limitations of conventional conflict. In my opinion this is a war they will long live to regret. Not because conventional strikes can’t do enormous damage, but because they have revealed their limitations and China has had a front row seat.

It is incredulous to me that after seeing what Russia has experienced in Ukraine the U.S. would arrogantly assume that this could never happen to them, yet here we are.

Wars are no longer fought in a conventional way, and Iran has exposed a huge weakness in the conventional thinking applied when it comes to countering an enemy schooled in the art of asymmetric warfare.

Trump’s abject failure at diplomacy is embarrassing. He now has Gulf states denying him access to bases and critical airspace and usual allies want no part of his failed extortion attempt.

China’s military planners have been gifted a treasure trove of data on how the U.S. operates against what would be considered a second or third tier state.

The U.S. has expended vast amounts of munitions that will take years to replace and they will walk away from this with nothing, having been forced to unfreeze billions of frozen Iranian assets. Not only that, Iran will be in a stronger position than before this imbecilic move by an out of his depth president.

Fareed Zakaria explains the geopolitical implications with the kind of clarity that is needed in this moment.

🎥 TikTok - https://t.co/kUxXQB7XUQ

[Bob Turano @bobturano]

@Ella_Hollywood4 Yes Goddess

[Bob Turano @bobturano]

@Caseykissesxoxo 😂

[Ben Rhodes @brhodes]

In the best case scenario, Trump struck a deal to reopen a Strait that was open before the pointless war he started, with the IRGC demonstrating its control over the Strait and potentially extracting fees plus sanctions relief. Thousands of innocents - including hundreds of children - dead in Lebanon and Iran for no reason. U.S. troops killed and wounded. U.S. embassies and bases in the Middle East badly damaged. U.S. standing in the world obliterated. U.S. munitions badly depleted. Hundreds of billions spent. Prices up everywhere. More global economic fallout to come. Putin strengthened and enriched. Just a catastrophic situation even in the best of circumstances. A profoundly shameful episode in American history no matter what happens next.