Bodeyman

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@Chukwuebuuka Let me know when you come up with a spot.... i am in

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

Inside Aso Rock Today:

Bola: Dadaaa... Wa da fuk ni gbogbo palapala ni Kaduna lana? Omo ale mola yen fe lo obe si mi ni sha. Must be Rufai. Rufaaiii.

DOlusegun: We did not see him coming, Sir. He is currently in Kuje. DSS are under strict instructions to never release him.

BAT: Diizzz yufts. (shakes head) They forget that democraaazy is not madness. Kaduna yufftsss want to baaait the hand that brinfs palliatives? (shakes head again)

DO: Sir, the videos are circulating. They’re calling it “a sign of the tide turning.”

BAT: Taiiiid? Taaaiiiid? Do they remembeur Nadeco? Mai sacrifaiceeeee? I fought Abacha. I slept in London gutter. I… I... knelt down for democracy! And they want to taiiid at Prezzdent? (giggles in Lagos foolishness)

(squints. Nods slowly.)

BAT: Mo miss call Bello lanaaa. Please call him back for me. very naiceee Kongi boy.

DO: Yes Sir. We even celebrated his birthday yesterday. It got some backlash. They say you’re shielding him from EFCC. Even Obi said you are rewarding corruption.

BAT: Ooooobiiiiiiiii. Omo yibo ehn, bloody bastard. Shield who? Belllooo Bellooooo? Fantassticcc boy, fantassctiiic Govno? Because of ordinarry 80 billioon? When daa monkeyyy werrk, shouldn't the monkeeey eat? What is daaa baboon's bizness? (blows raspberry)

DO: Hmmmm.

BAT: Corropshin (Corruption) is like onions. You peel it smaaall small. Sometimes, you cry. Sometimes, it sweetens the stew. Ehnn… When I see tears, I check what they are cooking. But you cannot fraiii stew with EFCC fear. That’s just spaicyyyy intimidation.

Seyi Law (peeking in): Daddy, sorry to interrupt. Should we still send that 15 million to Olaiya Igwe? He posted that things are hard and his gen blew yesterday.

BAT: Hmm… Olaiyaaa (chuckles with bourdillion vindiction)… Olaiyaaaa, naiceeee bumbum. Fun ni 10. It is nottt eazyy to be naked for the Prezzdenntt.

Bayo: Sir, the Saint Lucia trip. Customs is asking if you’ll be declaring the 25 boxes.

BAT: Haa… Bayoo! As Prezzdent? Declare? I travel with intention. I carry the load of the nation, both physically and mentally. Make sure all the mintttss are fresh, fresh from CeeBeeHen. What of APC Gombeee, Dada?

DO: Sir… They said you’re playing favourites.

BAT: (scoffs) Favour is the currensii of politiiiks. Even Ghisus chose disaiipuls. He did not call Judas first. I am the father, the prezzdenttt of the party. Sometimes you scold, sometimes you sponsor. That’s how you build… ehn…

DO: Hmmmm.

(He gets up, starts pacing.)

BAT: 2027 is simmpul. We will not campaign; we will calculate. then we activate, Wikeee manipulates, then I delegate. After that? We win! Snatchhh it, Grabbb it, Runnnnn. (giggles in Lagos foolishness)

DO: Okay, sir. What of Enugu killings?

BAT: Haa! Agaaain? I thought we just came backkk from that statee? We spoke to them?

DO: No sir, that was Benuee..

BAT: Ahhh, Alia. yels yels. So, Enugu now? Too much killing in this country. Enugu, Plateau, Benue. This country is toooo big.… We will address after Saint Lucia. Peace requires rest.

(Bola yawns in halitosis).

BAT: Pipuu are hungry, yes. Pipu are dyyiiing, yes. But they must not eat my peace. The Prezzzdent need to rest. Tell Akpabio to send me that 7-in-1 juice from Senate chamber. Democracy is a marathon, not keke napep.

Seyi Law (shouting from outside): Daddy, should we also send money to Baba Alapini?

BAT: Noooo. Agbaya ni baba yen. Fuukkkk him.

[Olóyè T.D Esq @BolanleCole]

Either 4 or 8years, Tinubu will go one day but the institutions we are all destroying today because of him🙄it will take us another 15 to 20years for us to rebuild it back.

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@kspeed19 Bro ...

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@zealprecious1 'You can't shame the shameless'

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@FavorGrace90 Amen 🙏, I want to be blessed on Tuesday

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@DHKRULLAH Congrats man....

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@BoksMajor Is the Tel guy any better than Jackson?

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

Oju ti leri mehn

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@BoksMajor Normal na .... we don dey expect him post since morning to rile them up once again .....

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

Finally, Mo Sallah breaks the Internet once again .......

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@zealprecious1 Lol...

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@BoksMajor Here you have it .....

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@aywizzie Happy birthday, Ayo. May the universe ✨️ give you your deserved blessings....welcome to your best year 🎂

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@ghedduh @Sisi_Yemmie @ola_model19 @bikoebele Nah.... can't relate the crying. But na normz to dey lament sha

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@UnkleAyo I was really teary 😢 when the wife started pleading on his behalf.....

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@mrmacaroni @Syemca Shey na freakyfreaky don make ur agbada wet like this?

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

🤣.... so with this win against City.... Utd fans think he is the 2nd coming of Ferguson..... only time wil tell

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🔴📉 Rúben Amorim on Sporting to face Man City: “If the result is negative, the expectations about me will drop…”.

“But if we win, they will think the new Sir Alex Ferguson has arrived!”. ✨

[Bodeyman @bodeyman]

@Bangladeshi_CFC @Chels_HQ He was lethargic and slow .....