Sam

Action-adventurer. I use my resourcefulness and knowledge of chemistry, physics, technology, and outdoorsmanship to resolve life-threatening situations.

[Sam @Bogusest]

When it’s cold, guys with sleeve tats opt for the t-shirt.

[Sam @Bogusest]

If I’m broke, do I get credit for participating in the economic blackout?

[Sam @Bogusest]

Grabbing a shopping cart means spending $250.

[Sam @Bogusest]

“The healthcare industry is one of the greatest evils and a threat to health in America”
*goes to McDonald’s*

[Sam @Bogusest]

Car companies think no one is as calm as the person almost merging into another car and barely avoiding it because of the tiny light.

[Sam @Bogusest]

@ryanpequin I was scared to play people too but it’s good. You’ll lose, but you’ll also win. Give yourself permission to lose 5 games, and you might be hooked by the time you get there.

[Giannis Auntiegotapoodle @TooMuchMortons_]

Hosmer stealing money updated version

[Sam @Bogusest]

I didn’t realize how much of parenting is just stepping on random shit that you were too tired to pick up.

[Sam @Bogusest]

Alternate text: “Yu up”

[Sam @Bogusest]

Anyone else in a toxic relationship with the Padres? All it took was a late night text, “pads up” and we are ready to get hurt again. #Padres

[Sam @Bogusest]

Not Happy with the news headlines today. Seeing a lot of stuff like “Dodgers weakness, flaws contribute to loss.” Should be “Padres crush another 100+ win team on path of destruction.” #Padres

[Sam @Bogusest]

Those “Beat LA” T-shirts have magically changed tense. #Padres

[Sam @Bogusest]

Hey Most Wonderful Time of the Year... why are you telling scary ghost stories?

[Sam @Bogusest]

280 char = twitTL;DR

[Sam @Bogusest]

@pvponline @FortniteGame Input lag; when you press fire it takes a split second longer for the bullet to leave the gun. Try leading and tracking while you’re firing

[Sam @Bogusest]

The ump was wrong twice https://t.co/quB75PH1bQ

[MLB @MLB]

.@LPerdomo61 getting all fancy on us.

[Scott Gustin @ScottGustin]

International Space Station #Eclipse photobomb via @NASA

[Sam @Bogusest]

@nedroid https://t.co/t2QBPd6idV

[pointy @chipspopandabar]

if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color they are 100% a cop

[Polygon @Polygon]

How to eat (or not) eat a banana according to Sea of Thieves.