Bola Baller

[Nanyo 💋🖤 @Nanyo_sae]

Yesterday was my sister’s birthday and we all decided not to wish her, post her or even call her.
This morning, we woke up to a 9-minute voice note of her calling each of us out, name by name.
I never knew returned energy could hurt this badly.
She has spent years being unavailable, unreachable and basically building a wall while we kept trying to reach her.
So why are you upset now that we’ve stopped caring?
Anyway, my mum has ordered us not to answer her for 2 days. She said she must learn the importance of family.

[shaka ⚡️ @shxkxbabu]

by 4pm, one random person wey don dey laugh about the whole gist since go come here come do “which one is settings babe again?” to sound cool 😂

[anjolababy💞 @zoba_sznnn]

after you don streak that menstrual belt,you go off am take pain relief

[Wintler🪙 @CreekBaron]

My mama share drinks for full street including mad man bruh, because I graduate. Yesterday, the guy come pray for me. Today, him still show come pray for me again 😭

[✰ @dzlgrrl]

😭

[Ọbálèkè @obaleke_]

What kind of intimacy is this please?? 😭

My cousin has been posting heartbreak quotes on WhatsApp for days, so I already knew something had happened 😭

Today he finally called me and started crying that his girlfriend of two years broke his heart, after everything they had done together, he didn't even know how he was going to recover.

I asked him what actually happened between them.

This boy refused to answer, he just kept crying and listing all the memories they had together.

Then while explaining how close they were, he said, “There was even a time she used to use my preeq to scroll through TikTok on her phone.”

I swear I tried to remain serious 😭😭

But my body betrayed me.

I burst into laughter so badly I had to hang up the call, compose myself, then call him back.

He didn't pick 😂

[Opeyemi @OpeyemiDrift]

Nigerians Dey hustle sha.

I just randomly remembered that my mum had a driver who would disappear for days at a time.

We eventually found out that his main job was to help people find sacred items needed for spiritual purposes.

The one that got him fired was when he disappeared for almost 3 weeks to go into some forest to acquire a certain cloth found only where witches and witchcraft hold their meetings.

It was only when his wife came to report him that we found out.
Na that day my mama sack am 😂

[DMD💆🏾‍♀️ @MoyinftDeborah]

There’s this guy that came to classes from 100L-400L on a wheel chair.

His mum was always bringing him to school, and I don’t think he ever missed a class. I was so happy when I saw him on his sign out day.🥹💕

Mothers are indeed heroes! Congratulations to him too.🥹🫂❤️

[Yoruba Nollywood @yorubahood1]

Funke Akindele posts Kamo STAR LOMO movie to shut down the 8ters 😂

One Thing About Lafunky, You Can Never Force Her

One of the things I love about her is that you can never force her to do anything.

She will only do it when she feels it is the right time. You can never predict her next move, and that is what makes her special.

She moves on her own terms, at her own pace, and always comes out on top.

So haters can rest now and go and hug transformer. Lafunky is unbothered and doing just fine!

[Akinyoola Ayoola (KamoState) @kamostatecomedy]

Iyami Da? Iyami Re ooo,Thank you for supporting me always ma,I’m grateful mama

[Funke Akindele @funkeakindele]

STARLOMO 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Let's go see a good movie this weekend.
Congratulations @kamo_state @kayodekasum
I wish you all the best at the box office 👍👍👍👍

#starlomothemovie is now showing in all cinemas nationwide. Go see it!!

[Mr Macaroni @mrmacaroni]

I cried so much last night and this morning. I have seen lots of messages from different people about things I did for them at different times most of which I don’t even remember.
The truth is I have always believed in my heart that the only reason God has given to me is to give it back.
I think this is God’s way of telling me to also be thankful!!! I have been thinking too much about what I lost instead of thanking God for seeing me through one of the hardest moments of my life.
I am used to always giving and hardly ever receiving because everyone thought I had in abundance. I have also always found it difficult to ask for help. Even if I had to borrow from anyone, I would always return with interest, even without them asking. But I was tested in ways I couldn’t understand these past few years. I asked for help everywhere and anywhere I could think of and I was on the verge of giving it all up!

I would mention his name but he would be really upset. God used one person to settle all that I owed! And this help came over and over again! I don’t think any sane person would do what he did for me without God’s intervention!
So this is me also saying thank you Brother! And I will continue to do so again and again, privately and publicly! Thank you for giving me hope when I thought it was all over. I can’t help but think I have taken your love and kindness for granted but I want you to know that I am forever indebted to you.

To my closest people in the World (Mr Macaroni & Friends) Thank you for not neglecting me even when you had every reason to. Thank you for saving me 😊
To Don Jazzy, who has been giving me since my university days up till now, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do, not just for me but for so many others!!! To my brother Victor Osimhen and Pastor Bolaji!!! Thank youuuu. 🤍

I am in a better place! I am learning and doing things that make me happy. I don’t and will never regret anything I have ever done in my life to make the lives of others better in even the smallest way possible. However, I have learned a lot of lessons these past few years and I am grateful even for the trials and tribulations for which without them I wouldn’t have the clarity of mind I now have.

May the love in our hearts be forever greater than the hate in the world.

Thank you with all my heart. 🤍

[Lola Okunrin @lollypeezle]

There was a day Mr. Macaroni used one of my tweets as an inspiration to make a skit. He gave me my honor on the TL and next thing, he was in my DM requesting I drop account details.

I had to refuse because it wasn’t a big deal to me but his Omoluabiness is up up there. He has been through a lot but they never changed him. What a man 👏👏

[Omolomo @Omolomo_o]

summary of this rogbodiyan 😭😭

[Tarelayefa @Sugar_Pops_]

Nigerian men will swear they prefer a particular kind of woman, but go ahead and frustrate that woman when they find her.

Cheat on virgin, cheat on Oyibo, cheat on independent woman that doesn’t bill them.

If you like, bend yourself like crayfish because you want to be picked. They will pick you, then frustrate your life with the women they swore they do not like.

[Daniel @danielholkss]

Afolakemi Victoria Martins

You go blame the day you meet her

Don't worry, she just dey start with you. By the time she is done with you, you will learn to keep your dick inside your pant

[Chimaforkeeps🧘🏾☮️ @Chimaforkeeps]

Your gown is short keh , na why I buy am nau, this girl no ready for this baddie lifestyle o😂😂

[Tomi @Tomi_Tomero]

I saw that Bayuz video and he was wrong!!! Very wrong!!!

The little girl said “Uncle don’t snap me”, he didn’t even regard her, just straight up “where’s your mummy”

The mother came and you asked her where she lives, she answered. Then she asked you “what channel are you from”, and you’re implying she’s rude and doesn’t deserve help.

Poor people should not be forced to succumb to whatever just because you’re trying to help them.

Relate with them and respect them as humans. I hope he sees the wrong and does better next time.

Now the woman will be subject to bullying as people have seen her face and they can trace her, that video shouldn’t have been posted at all. Her wellbeing is now threatened.

[kaahaani @misskaahaani]

things i have overheard my toddler say to my newborn in the past week:

-you just a baby (while petting her sister like she pets the dog)
-night time is fo’ sleeping, not crying (followed by a sigh)
-don’t be cute right now (after she woke up from the crying)
-you smell so good (sniffs loudly)
-mama said you have weak neck muscles…make them stronga…then i can take you to school
-i have a strong neck, look (aggressively moves her head around)
-you have no teeth, look i have so many (grins)
-why you crying? tummy time is soooo fun (lays in front of the baby on her tummy)
-(loud whisper) NO SCRATCHING
-i would cry too if i was a baby
-mama said you can’t watch bluey, that is so sad (spends ten minutes telling her sister about bluey)
-dad makes dinosaurs sounds, it not a real dinosaur, they extin-t, don’t cry, we just playin'
-if dinosaurs were real, i would protecc you
-i had coffee one time (she absolutely did not)
-I heard you burp…you are ‘upposed to say excuse meeeeeee
-mama says you have knees but i dont see them…where are they (inspects legs)
-i have a pink car, you can sit in it
-you are my baby foreverrrrrrrr
-(pulling a miss rachel) [hcf's name], can you say mama? maaa-maaa. your turn! (baby coos) good try!
-can you clap? (claps loudly and startles the baby)
-[hcf's name] where is your nose? (touches the baby’s nose) there it is!
-oh my gosh so cute (every time the baby sneezes)
-i love you (baby coos) no i love you more because i am bigger (baby coos) no no i love you more (baby coos) you can't even talk yet so i win

[Bola Baller @bolatheballerr]

@derikwebx @Mbahdeyforyou Person dey do advert you dey talk social media validation, lmao.