The Bomheckler

Brother | Husband | Mom | These are some kinds of family members people happen to be. || But God.

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Whiteboards are remarkable.
But not as remarkable as you 😉

[madimoiselle ♡ @drivingmemadi]

wanted a pumpkin patch but all i got was a rough patch

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

No matter how good I get as an English teacher, there will always be Robin Williams out there mocking me.

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

The @COIN guys walking around Walmart eating Burt’s Bee’s like push pops

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Rick and Morty is an abbreviation for Brick and Mortar

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

@sethstub *pats head* Of course it is, sweetie. Everything’s ok, just go back to playing with your legos.

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

HERmeneutics or herMENeutics? It’s ὁμοούσιος/ὁμοιούσιος all over again

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Yoga pants? More like TOGA pants

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Mike’s Life
Lemonade
🤝
Hard

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

How do moms choose which candles to burn and which candles to display on the bathroom counter in perpetuity

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Sometimes my phone autocorrects my last name to “Banana” and I chuckle ever time

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Imagine how much more money Stater Bros would make if they changed their name to Skater Bros

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

If I was a Pokémon I’d be normal type.

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

SanHERdrin

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

I appreciate that the Tweet icon is an elegant quill. It helps me forget that I write garbage.

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Oh really you were social distancing BEFORE the pandemic very cool haven’t heard that one before tell me more please

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Jkjk I’m actually on the floor because I’m in crippling pain please call an ambulance

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Good thing I’m wearing my wife-alert bracelet, cuz I’ve fallen for you and can’t get up

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

“I’m back!” he said to all 17 followers.

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Just wanted to give everyone a heads up that my first tweet of next year is going to be “Hindsight is 2020.” So be prepared to laugh.

[The Bomheckler @bomheckler]

Who was it who thought, “You know what playing cards remind me of? Cherubs riding bikes across a field.”