Yet, he was once also like that. I never even saw him cried when my grandfather died and buried. It made me realize that it has always been the “cycle”, a generational trauma many experience, and if in the future — if I will have a family I don’t want my kids to experience that.
I cried just now, remembering I never had a close, intimate relationship with my father and I just realize he has been one of the many reasons why I don’t want kids.
You’re left with the impact, the memories, maybe even the longing, while they seem to move on effortlessly — as if you were just a background blur in their story.
You know that feeling of the weight of people entering your life, forming some kind of connection, and then gradually fading away — as if you were only a brief stop in their journey, not someone they truly saw or valued.