kingbongdanov

all views are my own, retweets are not endorsements

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

i thought a thong was something people thang

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

@htrickkane9 Shockingly so

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

I used to accept all cookies on my phone like i was fat af

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

Im mastering corporate humour in a crazy way

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

@nyahlism Echinacea

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

I beat my girlfriend in an arm wrestle

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

Put one of these grocery store security guards on the self-checkout scale and he’ll weigh less than three bananas.

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

@TKugelmass After I tweeted this, a security guard asked if they had books from some obscure poet. Once they actually had it he left without even buying it hahahah.

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

The only reason people go to bookstores is to ask the employee for some random niche author no one’s ever heard of

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

Manifesting fell off

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

@sl0ane_ranger I can get it for you easy.

[zmo (SB Champs 2013 2025) @ifzachhadtwitr]

Life gets so much better after you get over your fear of tomatoes

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

if you’re ever stuck in a submarine near the titanic all you have to do is open the hatch, get into the water, and hang on to a lifejacket. the lifejacket will act as a jetpack like object, propelling you to the surface in a matter of seconds

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

I wanna be a brazilian kid in a favela

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

They dont let you go to war if you have blackheads

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

I always had last pick for my classes at ubc 🤣

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

New york stand up!!!!!!!

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

I wanna get a toyoto corolla

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

I eat out so much because i can’t bare the taste of my own food

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

@sl0ane_ranger Damn just unfollow me now ig

[kingbongdanov @bongdanov]

I act like a hater but im really a lover