Samantha

Wife, mother, blogger, and ridiculous tip giver.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

#TipsForNewMoms: People w/o kids will try to tell you how to raise yours. Respond by pressing your finger to their lips and saying, "Shhhh."

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@FormerlySyn This is a great picture of you both!

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails And then there is Nona.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails Willow, to you

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails I AM ONE GIGANTIC WHEEZE. MIRTH UNBOUND. OMG 😂😂😂.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails Taarsidath-an halsaaam

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails Chrobu 💛. A deceptively small creature of mayhem and murder. Also, a deliverer of dead voles.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails We have stumbled upon a new niche: Explaining TV Shows Badly.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails Much luck to your marigolds. May the horrible smell of neem defeat the tiny bugs.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails Oh, god. Neem. It’s one of the only things that works on my extremely sensitive face skin when it decides to lose its shit for no reason. The smell. It’s. A Lot. I briefly considered keeping the appearance of a sunburnt orange over trying to sleep with neem around my nostrils.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails I called it egg in a basket growing up. It apparently goes by many names. Nothing close to how many names there are for Armadillidiidae woodlice, though. That’s a wild ride to read.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@mo_ranyart @serenityfails The bonk + cackle 👌👌👌😂😂😂

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@mjweissen The older I get, the funnier this fact becomes to me.

Mom: I named you after a dog I never got.
Me: I am five years old, but this will set the tenor of our relationship for the foreseeable future.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@mjweissen My parents chose my name because my mom wanted to get a Pomeranian and name it Samantha. She got me instead.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails I did, indeed, snort and cackle.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails You are correct. I will forever remember his name. And the woman’s name. And the first sentence of the book.

I am cursed.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

“There’s a hole in this bottle.”

Leaking all this wine?

No. Slime. It’s a bottle of slime.

That my kids poked a hole in for *checks notes* reasons.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails But if you love Anders you will cave to emotional blackmail for plot purposes.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails That looks like a notebook that went through the wash. Alack and woe 😔😔😔.

[Samantha @BookWrites]

@serenityfails MUST. GET. FROG.