sleepiest gal in town

rule number one: never fall in love at the jersey shore

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Truly the best text to receive from your man

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

GUINNESS genuinely autocorrect makes me look like a FOOL

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Creatine has really done the impossible of making me even sweatier. Someone call the guineas world record office.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

@sk8rmag Me too friend. These are trying times 🫂

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Heating up salmon and Brussels sprouts in the work microwave. Trying to make the building I work in uninhabitable so I can wfh.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

@glittery_tits Wow you invented the color brown

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

https://t.co/lpsAniBis8

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Twice now I have had an ovarian cyst removed surgically and that means they have changed my belly button twice.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

I know in my heart that Philadelphia run clubs are currently concocting new strains of gonorrhea the likes of which the world has never seen

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Belmont Cameli!

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Belmont Cameli…..

[lilium🦄 @pukeirl]

being a girl with bangs is harder than serving in the military I’ve been through more than them

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Looking at pics of me from 2020 like they are my dead wife when did I start looking like this.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Sometimes you pack yourself a fuckass outfit for the gym and that’s okay! Forgiveness is key.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Genuinely if you don’t have consistent wfh availability how the fuck are you supposed to find therapy. Like I need someone who is in network, and can do after 5pm and apparently that disqualifies every therapist in the good damned state!

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

“The marketing team is so loud and always goofing off” sorry you chose the career of numbers and sadness.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

This was supposed to say fiancé I hate the iPhone keyboard.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

It’s strange to think that I was assaulted at 14 and was basically not a person for a decade after until one day I decided I didn’t like my life and went back to school 3 weeks later at 24. I am now almost 34 and it is still hard but it’s also okay.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

The course of my life was altered by so many bad things for most of my youth but now I get to live in a world with my cats and my finance and dirty martinis and fanfiction that gets published as physical books and that’s really beautiful.

[sleepiest gal in town @bootagles]

Gave a weird look to the girl wearing a “pretty girls vote republican” shirt at the gym and she asked her husband for his jacket lol either say it with your chest or don’t girl.