Sheriff Kermitt Pugg

*PARODY*Tweets from the *FAKE*Sheriff of *FICTITIOUS* Booth County, Idaho, Home of @JFMiningCo. Bulletins and safety alerts are for entertainment purposes only.

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

Welcome to Historic Yunt, Idaho. “The town had lice, so they burned it twice.” #AdsForWhereYouLive

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

My first act as Sheriff is returning our Deputies to 100% mounted patrols. This is in response to climbing fuel prices as well as the cool factor of shooting from horseback.

Side note: if you have some old nags or even a donkey you’re willing to part with, pls dm me

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

Sheriff Howard Chesterfield resigned in disgrace amid a muskrat trafficking investigation. Undersheriff Kermit Pugg has taken the helm of the Booth County Sheriff’s Office. Congratulations? #NewProfilePic

[Pumpkin-Spiced Heroin @offcerinsomniac]

Here’s one for Karl @whoarethesepod as well as @CompoundBoss

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

@MarloFranson We’ve got some nice folks here, they’re just a tad superstitious.

And I’m not re-planting a bunch of caskets in the local cemetery again this year.

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

@back2workbilly @JFMiningCo @ShareefaLawyer @fritzHondorff In all fairness, a good number of your workforce die violently on the job site every year.

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

While the world may be dealing with #coronavirus, Booth County is dealing with Consumption, yet again.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind the public that there are no such things as vampires that we do not have any loose in Booth County.

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

ALERT: Absolutely nothing going on in Booth County this evening.

What a bunch of lame assholes.

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

@JFMiningCo 10-4.

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

Sheriff’s Department Ball has been cancelled due to a burglary at the Sheriff’s Department.

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

@JFMiningCo The old saying goes: “never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

Well..

About 6 years ago I accidentally shot a police horse in the face...

during the Arbor Day Parade.

The lesson learned was don’t carry the candy-throwing bucket near your holster. ☹️ #Nightmares #Flashbacks

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

This is my cruiser. It was parked at the corner of Bircham Street and Arnold Ave with a fresh cup of coffee in the cup holder at 8:12AM this morning. It was not there when I exited the courthouse 10 minutes later. I hearby deputize every citizen in the county to find it. 😤

[Pumpkin-Spiced Heroin @offcerinsomniac]

Oh, The Places Amazon Will Go! #OcasioCortezChildrensBooks

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

The Sheriff is not so great at using twitter. #WednesdayWisdom

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

I would adore that, but unfortunately I have to inventory all of the crack pipes in the evidence room tonight :(
#PoorExcusesToCancelPlans

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

Large herd of cattle blocking I-49 outside of Yunt; stay clear of the area until my deputies and I can plant some dynamite and clear the roadway. 💥 🐄 #LivePd #LivePDFans #LivePDNation #MondayMotivation

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

Finally figured out why I was so sluggish by 10am every morning for the last week...someone’s been slipping booze into the coffee pot by the road patrol briefing room. Not cool, folks! #officelife #MondayMorning #LivePD

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

He’s got one hell of a left hook...the bulletin should have mentioned that as well. 🤕 #LivePD #LivePDNation

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

He insurance-fires the entire North Pole #SignsSantasBurnedOut

[Sheriff Kermitt Pugg @BoothCoSheriff]

A draw! Till they meet again..#LivePD