Booze Nuggets

Random bartending barflys in the midwest. Think, do, say, see & hear the weirdest shit on & off the clock. Enjoy misfit adventures in 140 characters or less.

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

My dick is fat free, because it don't exist bitch! #classy #dick #fatfree

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Triangles, landing strips & brazilians are dated AF. This is the latest trend: #LastManOnEarth #Waxing #snatchwax

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

https://t.co/3W6QullTlc what a world!!! What a woooorld!

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

My liver hurts watching the 21-year-olds drink. #booze #bartending #owmyliver

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

If you use @MrsButterworths as lubricant, does it count as a three-way?
#breakfastinbed

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

When you realize that's a booger not a nug in your pipe. #weedfail

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

"I plead the opium, I mean I plead the fifth!" #ThingsNotToSayToCops

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Anyone else think @ryannerz looks like @jonrudnitsky? #celebritylookalikes

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Oh snap. It must be your lucky day, because you just got into the gun show for free! *flexes* #BadPickUpLines

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Tom Cruise was the original quote fuck your couch "guy

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

If a chick who medically can't fuck you temporarily willing gives you an HJ & lets you finish on her tits. #MarryHer Get that pussy on lock

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

You know your fucked up when you're googling "how to cut your own hair" just go to bed.

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Just when I think it can't get better I see the video for #IMeanSomething @peaches is the sweetness that never goes bad. #Fuckyea

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

@PartyBitchKayla classy as fuck

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Smoking weed is like singing my pain a lullaby, the pain doesn't go away but it does go to sleep for awhile. #cannabis #weed

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Poop is like ice cream. Sometimes it comes out soft serve, other times you gotta dig it out with a spoon. #poop #WorstDessertEver

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Anyone else waiting for someone to go all #CSI on #TWD season finale & do the camera math/science behind the scene to know who died?

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Has evolution caused human penises to get smaller because we walk upright now & dongs are in the way? #EVOLUTION #deepthoughts #dongs

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Found on side of @DairyQueen kid's meal sack #phalic #designfail

[Booze Nuggets @BoozeNuggets]

Why is the number one drug side effects "might lose your shit and kill yourself"? #drugs