biscuit

talented bottle of chardonnay

[biscuit @boppinbih]

found 10 bucks in a parking lot today so i quit my job.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

4 years later & i got real life bangs. life is a highway. life is a full circle.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

2 glasses of wine later & i’m buying clip on bangs from amazon

[biscuit @boppinbih]

has anyone ever seen a coco actually deliver something to someone? this is NOT me downplaying how important they are to society (AI don’t hurt me, ily)

[biscuit @boppinbih]

cut water in my water bottle. on the way to workout class. this is summer. summer is here. here is summer.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

bois should not be allowed to look at their reflections. you look like you just rolled out of bed again today. put ya smelly cap back on playa.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

why is it embarrassing to swipe on dating apps while on public transportation

yet the guy next to me is smoking cr@ck w no shame

[biscuit @boppinbih]

imagine telling a guy to delete your nudes after a break up & he simply never saved them. i’m jumping.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

crashed out today. we’ll try again tomorrow.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

yawned two times in 5min. addy time.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

the only thing that could save today is if his college team doesn’t advance 🐛

[biscuit @boppinbih]

another day, another L taken by me. & not just taken - swallowed, slurped, chomped, no crumbs. AH.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

@elonmusk why is bonnie blue the only person on my timeline. what are you trying to tell me?

[biscuit @boppinbih]

*prays to st. anthony to find v!brator charger*

[david @davidefinitely]

roommate’s getting audibly plowed next door while i just found out my insurance is not longer in-network with my psychiatrist

[biscuit @boppinbih]

happy sunday. my (now) ex-situationship said i’m gross ln & he hu w me out of pity

[biscuit @boppinbih]

not looking in the window at you eating your italian beef (dipped, add peppers).

i am looking at the reflection of my A S S in the window.

[biscuit @boppinbih]

popped a benadryl. not for sleeping purposes, but in hopes the hat man visits me in the night & takes advantage of me

[biscuit @boppinbih]

miss being able to say “cream” & not get stiff

[biscuit @boppinbih]

mondays are for dissociating & licking your biodegradable sweetgreen bowl
clean 🥵

[biscuit @boppinbih]

if i was in the NBA i would 100p have light up sketchers. likeee

[biscuit @boppinbih]

“sexuality is really a choice” then explain this