The Borderline Butterfly

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[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

bpd is confusing, even for people with it.

like how do i feel nothing yet feel everything at the exact same time?

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

BPD & Relationships:

what’s something you wish your partner or friends understood about how you love? #bpd

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

BPD be like:

Me: i love life. i have so many goals & dreams. im so happy to be here.

*a switch flips*

Me: who am i? why am i here? what is my purpose? i don’t belong.

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

BPD mood swing starter pack:

1.‘I love you.’

2.‘I hate you.’

3.‘Don’t ever leave me.’

4.‘Who am I without you?’

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

Me: I’m done with the drama

Also me, 3 minutes later: creates an entire soap opera in my head because someone used a period in their text

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

Therapist: You need to set boundaries

Me: Got it

Also me: *sets boundary*

Me 5 minutes later: okay, fine, just walk all over me, it’s cool.

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

Me: i hate you, don’t leave me

Also me: blocks you to test if you’ll try harder

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

everything with BPD feels so permanent

every emotion
every symptom
every situation

but when it comes to people?

the only thing in our lives that feels temporary

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

“Your trauma made you stronger”

My trauma made me scared of going to the doctors, but okay

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

Man these last couple years have been great for character development but horrible for my mental health

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

i’ll either yap your ear off or go nonverbal. theres no in between

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

#WorldMentalHealthDay2024

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

Thinking about the memory loss i’ve had since being traumatized is a hard reality to sit with. I remember certain things in flashbulb moments but never the full picture. Then i go back and forth with myself questioning whether or not it even happened. It’s tough.

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

Someone: “i love you”

My BPD: i don’t believe you. You’re lying & just saying that because you either feel bad for me or you’re making fun of me

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

having quiet bpd in a relationship can be difficult to explain. like, i’m not shutting down to ignore you… i’m doing it because i’m afraid of what i might say or do if i don’t turn my pain inwards

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

i’ve been wired to believe that i’m the problem in any situation.

someones upset? it’s me.
someones mad? i did something.

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

one minute I’m uncomfortably shy, the next minute i’m trauma dumping to a stranger i met in a coffee shop

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

sometimes i think i use my mental illness to be ‘lazy’

but laziness isn’t an option when you’re mentally ill. because you are ALWAYS fighting and putting in so much god damn effort to just be here.

nobody who fights that much is lazy. period.

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

sometimes i gaslight myself into thinking that my mental illness is actually just made up for attention & as an excuse to be ‘lazy’ - then i realize that it’s really not me telling myself that. it’s a bunch of bullshit that has been burned into my brain from other people.

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

happy borderline personality disorder awareness week!

everyday is a great day to show up for your loved ones with bpd. but this week especially is a great time to research, learn & understand how you can better support us and help break the stigma surrounding bpd.

[The Borderline Butterfly @borderlinefeel]

I either dissociate and have no concept of what time it is or im in the present moment & my body WAY too much to the point i sit and stare at the clock watching it slowly pass by completely distressed in my own skin